


This Isn't A Surrender

by words_reign_here



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demons, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, it gets a little violent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:33:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/words_reign_here/pseuds/words_reign_here
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Turns out the Anti-Christ isn't so bad after all and is a fanboy of the Winchesters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't A Surrender

She worked feverishly, scrawling the sigil over the door in her own blood. She muttered the incantation in Latin and watched the runes jump with light before settling down. Behind her she could hear strange screams that made her belly clench and her hand shake.

_Come on, come on. Almost there. You got this._

One last sigil and she would be done. She traced it out, her hands weak. Something bumped into her back.

“They are almost here, mom.” The little boy said, his fear giving way.

“All right. Ok. Almost done.” She said. She could feel his warmth through the thin cotton of her shirt and he stayed right there with her.

“Ok, yeah. Mom? They are here.” He said. She finished the last of the incantation and glanced at her handiwork. Nothing was getting out of here alive. She turned to face what her son had so aptly labeled a “shit-ton of demons” and had to agree with his assessment. There were well over twenty demons facing them. Closer to forty, in all actuality.

“We are ready.” She said.

He nodded and drew himself up and together. She was always amazed at this part, at how she could glimpse the man in him when he did this; strong, sturdy and confident. He raised his right hand and felt behind him with his left for her. She clenched his hand in both of hers and when he began to shake she would mutter words of encouragement. The fine tremors raced up his arm and through his thin shoulders. He had taken on more than this before. But it had left him dazed and weakened for a full nine days afterwards.

The terrible screams started first. That’s why they had led them here. The dank and dirty basement was warded against the demons leaving. They were trapped here until her little boy could send them back home. The screams reached a fever pitch and she knew it was almost done. The bodies began to slump to the floor, one by one. They were probably dead and if they weren’t, there would be an ambulance heading this way soon.

As the noxious black smoke cleared and the bodies collapsed down against one another, the little boy held on tighter. His mother looped an arm around his waist in case he was feeling wobbly.

“There is someone else here.” He said to her softly, his head rolling forward.

She didn’t waste any time; she had a handgun in her hand before she registered what she was looking for. It was loaded with silver bullets, engraved with Devils Traps and washed in holy water. Whatever was out there was going to be hurting if it came for them.

Then suddenly, the little boy reared up in her arms, tossing his head back and making her stagger under the sudden shift of weight. He reached his hand out and pushed the gun to the ground.

“Don’t. It’s them.”

As her eyes adjusted, she noticed the two men in the back of the room, weapons raised and ready. One was tall and the other was much, much taller.

“Who is it?” She asked her son.

“It’s the Winchesters, mom.” He said. He grinned a slightly whacked out grin before losing his hold on consciousness altogether.

“What. In. The. Hell.” The tall one said, staring at the two of them.

“I – What – what was that?” The taller one said.

The woman glanced at them, dark eyes hardening all at once. “We need to leave. Now.”

She picked up the boy in her arms, adjusted the backpack on her shoulders with a stiff roll and headed for the stairs.

The two men took one look at each other, stunned and silent for once, and followed behind her.

“Lady, listen, we need to _talk_.” The tall one said, clearly the leader of their outfit.

“I imagine so. But what Ryan did just now is going to attract a lot of attention, so can we please talk later-“ Her comment was drowned out by shattering glass. The three of them turned and before anyone was quite sure what was going, the taller one squeezed off three shots in the dark.

“Not sure if I got anything. Let’s go.” He turned around to his brother but instead of noticing the shooters stance or the gun in his hand, he noticed that the young woman and the little boy were gone.

“She sure is quick for carrying that kid.” He said, nodding behind Dean. Dean turned around and glared.

“Where the hell did she go?”

They heard the telltale sound of a door slamming in the distance.

“Shit.” Dean said, looking over at Sam. As one, they turned tail and fled. Out in the parking lot was telltale darkness. The Impala had been parked about a mile away; they had wanted to make a quiet entrance. The boys took off at a full run, hitting their stride before leaving the parking lot of the building.

It really wasn’t much use. The black cloud hovering over the building gathered itself and headed towards them.

Just as soon as Dean had decided that it was pretty much done for and him and Sam were going to end up visiting Crowley in the near future, a familiar rumble purred up next to them. A black car pulled up next to them, the young woman driving and the little boy in the backseat, awake now and hanging over the front seat.

“Did, um, you guys want a ride?” The little boy asked, his mom keeping pace with them.

“Yes! That would be great!” Sam replied, sounding baffled.

The little boy popped the door open and pushed the front seat up and Dean tumbled in. He pulled his legs in after himself and Sam dove in next. There was a moment of complete silence as the three males in the car stared at one another and then the low purr of the engine became a roar and everyone was thrown back against their seats.

“How close, baby?” She asked from the front seat, teeth gritted in concentration.

“It’s about three miles. You can make it, mom.”

The woman bared her teeth in either a grimace or a smile; it was hard to tell which. She twisted through streets and pulled hard turns.

“So, I’m Dean.” He said, sticking his hand out to the small boy. The boy grasped his hand and Dean noted that it was shaky and clammy. “That’s Sam up there.”

“We know.” The little boy said shyly, leaning heavily against the back seat. “I’m Ryan. That’s my mom, Lila.”

“A little young to be a hunter, don’t you think, Ryan?” Dean asked.

“Oh, I’m not a hunter.” He said. He smiled again and Dean couldn’t help but grin back.

“Almost there…” Lila said from the front. They crested a hill and a cemetery rose up in front of them, sad and desolate. The gates were open by some miracle and she gunned it the entire way there. As soon as the gates were behind them, she parked hastily and threw open the door and stepped out. Wary, Dean and Sam followed her.

The black cloud that had been following them loomed up and then slammed into an invisible wall that was all of a sudden just _there._

“What did you do?” Sam asked, casting a glance around, looking for sigils or traps or something.

“Me? Nothing. It’s hallowed ground. Those sons of bitches can’t cross over in here.” She said. She frowned at the cloud. It was tearing itself apart, circling the cemetery, trying to find a way in. There was nothing.

“So.” Dean said, clearing his throat. “What now?”

“We wait.” She said, as if it were obvious. She tossed the keys up in the air and caught them easily. She wasn’t showing off; in fact it seemed like a nervous habit.

Lila headed around Dean and walked to the trunk. The fact that there were hungry demons less than fifteen feet away that wanted to chew on her soul did not seem to bother her. She popped open the trunk and shifted some stuff around.

“All right, baby. I’ve got turkey or roast beef. Some broth if your stomach is bothering you? Water? Soda? Help me out kid.” She said affectionately.

“I’ll take turkey. And some broth, please.” Came the small voice from the backseat. Lila plucked a pillow from the contents of the trunk and handed it to Sam.

“Would you give that to him? I’m thinking he was overreaching with that last bit there. Probably trying to impress the two of you.” Lila rolled her eyes.

Sam crouched down and handed the pillow to Ryan. Already, his arm was thrown over his eyes and Sam could see every trace of color was gone from his face. “Here you go, man. Get comfy.” Sam handed him the pillow and Ryan smiled gratefully. There was a sort of peace there that Sam had not seen in someone so young. He had never seen it in another hunter actually. Ryan stuffed the pillow behind him and asked Sam, “Is my mom ok?”

“Yeah man. She’s fine.”

She was, in Sam’s opinion, more than fine. She was calm and cool and handing food out like she had done this a thousand times before. She collected a small meal for Ryan, slapped Dean away from the rest of the food in the trunk and told Sam, “Keep an eye on him. He needs to wait his turn.”

Dean’s eyebrows came to rest somewhere around his hairline and mouthed _Wow_ at Sam who tried to hide his smirk, but didn’t try that hard. The demons still thrummed at the entrance of the gate but it could have been a beautiful spring day and they could have all been gathering around for a picnic, as far as Lila was concerned.

“Ok, here you go. Do the apple juice first. It’ll help. Don’t try to eat it all if you can’t; I don’t want to clean vomit out of here again.” She cautioned. He smiled at her wanly. She settled the plate on his lap and opened the bottle of apple juice for him. Lila waited until he finally took a big drink before leaving him to his own devices and heading back around to the trunk.

“All right, are you boys hungry?” She asked.

“I could eat.” Dean admitted, staring into the trunk.

“I’m hungry.” Sam confessed.

“Well, we’ve got turkey casserole, sandwiches, there is some soup, broth but I like to keep that for Ryan when he is not feeling so hot, roast beef, and stew. So, what will you have?” She looked up at them, both of their eyes wide. She had outfitted her trunk with a small fridge that did not remake any of the body. It looked like she had a week’s worth of food in there. “I don’t like to stop and eat at a lot of these places on the road. They have too much grease and fat and frankly, I don’t want to look like Jabba the Hutt by the time I’m thirty five. So I cook what I can store in here and we eat at a lot of parks. Cemeteries too.” She laughed. All of a sudden, she seemed nervous, as though noting for the first time where she was and what she was doing. Lila rubbed her palms against the bumper of the car and glanced down. “I’m sure this is weird-“

“Listen, lady. Our level of weird is _astronomical_. This is kind of… ok. Other than the demons trying to eat us.” Dean said with a shrug. Sam nodded. “And just whatever you want to feed us sounds good.”

She nodded and began to pull out plates that resembled those people would use while camping. She piled Dean’s plate high and he was practically giddy. He leaned against the side of the car and began to wolf down his meal. She did the same for Sam who smiled and said, “Thanks.”

For her own part, Lila pulled out a smaller portion for herself. She sat down and leaned against the car, facing the demon cloud. Sam and Dean followed suit. From the backseat of the car, they could hear Ryan snoring.

“I hope he remembered to put the plate down before he passed out. Swear to god, sometimes the only thing that saves that kid from me duct taping him to the roof of the car is those big brown eyes.” She shook her head.

“He’s kind of young to be hunting, don’t you think?” Dean said, picking up on Sam’s thoughts from earlier.

Lila snorted. She tugged her hair from out of its ponytail and scratched her head. “Yeah, I do. But if only life were that easy, right?”

“I’ve actually only seen one other person able to do that neat little trick he pulled off back there.” Dean started slowly. “And that was after he drank a bunch of demon blood. How does-“

Lila sighed and looked back. “Of course that would be the first thing you asked about him. He idolizes the two of you and thinks the world of both of you. Swear to god, that’s all I hear. _What do you think Dean would do? Do you think Sam would use that gun? Do you think the Winchesters know this sigil? Do they really have their own angel, mom? Can I get my own angel?”_ She sighed and put her plate down in front of her. “You guys are Batman and Iron Man, all rolled into one. With a fucking angel.”

“I’m Batman.” Dean hissed, leaning around Lila to glare at Sam.

“I’m totally fine with Iron Man.” Sam said, around a mouth full of casserole.

“It’s complicated.” She said, frowning at the both of them.

“It always is.” Dean said. He gestured to the cloud still at the gates. “But we’ve got time for a complicated story.”

She groaned. “He’s human, ok? You can run the holy water/silver/salt tests if you want. You can do the same for me if you’d like. I’ve got the tattoo,” She pulled a sleeve up and pulled off a heavy silver bracelet where the anti-possession tattoo marked her, “He’s got a brand of it and it’s just… really complicated.”

“What is he?” Sam asked gently.

She tipped her face towards him and he finally got a good look at her. Small nose, clear olive skin, big brown eyes just like her son. Thick dark hair tumbled way past her shoulders and Sam had to resist the urge to reach out and tug on it.

“He’s the Anti-Christ.” She said.

Beside her, Dean laid down his plate. He furrowed his eyebrow. Sam finished chewing what was in his mouth; albeit very, very slowly.

“But he just killed a bunch of demons back there.” Dean pointed out.

Lila nodded.

“And from what I saw, definitely not his first rodeo.”

Lila nodded again.

“Ok, what the hell, Lila. Did you give birth to the Anti-Christ only to train him up for the good guys?” Dean asked, point blank.

“Other than a few details, you got it.” She said. Lila picked up a small bottle of fruit juice in front of her and took a swig. “He knows the score. He knows that in some huge upcoming battle, he’s supposed to be Lucifer’s right hand man and general. It’s just he doesn’t _want_ to be. And he’s only a little boy.” She shook her head and looked down at her hands. “I’m pretty sure you guys are familiar with the definition of ‘unfair’. This is just one more prime example.”

“Unfair doesn’t begin to cover it.” Dean muttered. “But we get it. When he wakes up, do you mind if we do the tests?”

“Help yourself.” She said. She picked up her plate and began to shove her leftovers into an empty garbage bag.

“We didn’t offend you, did we?” Sam said, also getting up. Dean remained on the ground, still eating.

“No, not at all.” She shrugged. “After seeing what you did, I don’t blame you. I would be more worried if you didn’t.”

“How old is Ryan?” Sam asked.

“Eleven.”

“You don’t look nearly old enough to have an eleven year old.” Sam remarked.

“I’ll let the patriarchal comment slide and save you from doing the math. I was sixteen when Ryan was born.”

Sam’s face went from disbelief to blank interest. “That’s pretty young for such a huge responsibility.”

Lila smiled. “Someone had to do it.”

“Lila! Is this a 1970 Challenger?” Dean asked from his seat next to the car.

“Sure is. My sweetheart.” Lila said, immediately warming to the subject.

“Challenger Six?”

“Eight.”

Dean popped up from the side of the car. “Tell me you have a hemi in this.” He practically whispered.

“You know it.”

And for the rest of the night, they talked about cars and memories while Ryan slept in the backseat and demons whispered to them. Eventually, they took turns sleeping and by the time the sun rose, the demons had left and they drove out of the cemetery.

~~~

“So, what’s next for you guys?” Dean asked from the backseat.

“I guess just find out where another infestation is and head there.” Lila shrugged. “He’s got a test that he needs to study for and… I guess that’s it. Same old stuff.”

Ryan yawned next to Dean. “That test isn’t until Thursday, Mom. It can wait.”

“What was the historical and economic significance of Mesopotamia?”

Ryan was silent for a moment before he said, “It was the cradle of civilization and the societies around it emerged as the earliest known non-nomadic agrarian societies.”

“In what year did the Romans fight for it? And whom did they fight?”

“In 150 AD and they fought the Mongols.”

“Parthians.” Lila replied.

“Damn it.” Ryan muttered. He looked at Dean. “So close.”

Dean chuckled. Ryan reminded Dean a little bit of Sam at that age. He seemed a little lighter though, freer in a way that Sam never was.

“If you guys want to kick your feet back for a couple of days, we could put you up.” Sam said to Lila. She raised an eyebrow at Dean in the backseat.

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. If you want to, anyway.” Dean was intrigued by Ryan. He wondered if Sam had known as early as Ryan if he would manage to fight the angry, raw side of himself.

“Just for a few days.” Lila drawled slowly. “Hear me, Ryan?” She said.

“Yes, ma’am.” Ryan said. If Ryan had been feeling normal, he would have been vibrating with excitement. As it was, he had a huge grin on his face and pink spots on his cheeks.

That’s when Cas showed up.

“Hello, Dean.” He said, his voice water over gravel and making Dean shiver.

“Mom!” Ryan screamed, spilling juice on Cas, trying to scramble away.

“Cas!” Dean said, trying to pull him away from the boy he terrified.

“Sam!” Lila screamed, jerking the wheel.

“Ryan!” Sam said, turning around and bodily pulling Ryan forward into his lap. The boy wrapped himself around Sam who turned around in the seat.

“Damn it, Cas.” He said gently. As terrified as Ryan was, he couldn’t be mad at his friend.

“You are holding the Anti-Christ on your lap, Sam.” Cas said, frowning. The boy in Sam’s arms shivered and Sam wondered for a moment if he was going to cry. Instead, he felt the telltale signs of him straightening his shoulders and making his back completely straight so that he wouldn’t have to lean against Sam.

“Tact, man. We’ve discussed this.” Sam said. He rubbed circles in between Ryan’s shoulders and the little boy fell against him once more now that he didn’t feel any rejection from Sam. Sam couldn’t help but feel a small warmth in his chest.  

“My apologies.” Cas said and now Sam felt bad for hurting Castiel’s feelings.

“It’s all right man.” Dean said, nudging Cas. “It gets easier. Promise.”

Cas smiled just like he did, every time, for Dean. “I came to inform you of a large massacre of demons just south of here.”

“That was us.” Lila muttered. All of a sudden, she jerked the wheel over to the right and pulled into a small dirt road. “Ok, who are you? Are you the angel?”

“I am Castiel.” He said and Dean could practically feel him fluffing his wings proudly behind him.

“Ok, Castiel. You and me. We are going to talk.” Lila threw open her door and got out. Castiel was right beside her and without another word, she pointed to a small group of trees just beyond earshot. She stalked over to them and Sam couldn’t help but admire her taut posture and the slim line of her back. Or how her hair was more chestnut than black.

“He’s in for it.” Ryan said, tracking their movements with his own eyes.

“He’s an angel of the lord.” Dean said, leaning forward, hooking his chin on the back of Lila’s seat.

“She’s my _mom_.” Ryan said.

“He’s got a point.” Sam said.

Over in the trees, Lila whirled on Castiel. “Ok, listen, Mr. Angel. That little boy over there is still _just a little boy_. He hasn’t done anything to hurt anyone and has, in fact, helped more people throughout the country than you and your buddies up there. He might be part of some grand plan but he doesn’t want a part in it and I’m trying to save him from it. I may not be able to, but I will die trying. And I will _not_ tolerate any comments about whom or what he is. You want to have words? Do it with someone closer to your own age, got it? He is just a little boy and you will not hurt him.” She breathed deeply for a moment. “If you hurt him, I will find a way to kill you.”

Castiel stared at Lila for a moment and then tipped his head. “He is important to you. The most important thing to you, ever. I apologize, I will not bring it up again.”

Lila stared at Cas for a long moment. “As long as we are clear.”

She stalked back to the car. “Are you coming?”

Castiel was seated next to Dean before she got behind the wheel once more.

~~~

Lila drove the boys back to their car and followed them back to the bunker, six hours north. It was an uneventful drive, with Castiel popping back and forth between cars to relay messages. When they finally reached the bunker, Lila was beside herself with excitement to get out of the car. Ryan had fallen asleep hours ago, finally exhausted between meeting Dean and Sam, an angel and learning they would stay with them for a while. Even when Lila rolled to a stop in the underground garage, he didn’t stir. At eleven years old, he was getting too damn big for Lila to pick up and carry anywhere. She considered waking him up but the dark circles underneath his eyes scared her. So she contorted herself and pulled him out, cradling him in her arms.

“No wait-“ Sam said.

“Here, let me-“ Dean started.

“Lila, do you need-“ Castiel started.

They all stopped and looked at each other and then her. There were shy smiles and Sam scooped the boy out of her arms easily and carried him up the stairs in one arm. They trooped up the stairs and once they got to the top, Lila had to stop and appreciate the view.

“Wow, you guys have quite the place here.” She said.

“It’s home.” Castiel said and shrugged out of his coat and laid it over the couch.

“The rooms are this way.” Sam said, turning with Ryan still in his arms. Lila followed and Dean and Cas watched them all exit.

“Sam is infatuated.” Cas observed.

“Tell me about it.” Dean said, finally able to look at Cas head on. He reached his hands behind the angel’s neck and rubbed there, bringing Cas to him. They stood forehead to forehead for a long moment, Castiel humming in appreciation and Dean smiling at his angel. Dean kissed him on the forehead and said, “Let’s get some dinner going, yeah?”

“Yes, Dean.” Castiel said, unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling them up.

“I think some cowboy burgers and fresh cut fries. Throw a salad together for Sam… Do we have any soda? I think the kid likes soda. And juice… We don’t have any juice.” Dean sat back. “Damn. Oh well. We can go on a supply run later.”

Cas already had most of the ingredients out and on the counter for Dean and was searching the pantry. He frowned at the onion salt and the onion powder.

“Dean, which is it?” He said, holding up both bottles for Dean. It was ridiculous how much he liked his angel. Oh, yeah, he totally loved his angel. Full on, Nicholas Spark novel, disgusting, giving Sam ammunition for years _in love_ , but it always took him by surprise how much he just _liked_ the dude. There were times with Sam that loving him was the easy part but liking the guy came at great personal strength. But his angel, sometimes, Dean just liked to marvel how much he liked him.

It was one of those moments when Cas held up the bottles that struck Dean in his chest. He grinned at Cas who looked momentarily confused and when Dean walked over to him and wrapped one arm around Castiel’s waist and cradled his head with the other hand, he squeaked in surprise. Dean kissed him hard and well, loving the feel of Castiel in his arms and against him.

“And this is my brother making out with his angel in the kitchen. Right over here is the living room…” Sam said, spinning around on his heel to make a quick exit.

“I totally called it.” Lila said.

“Yes, you did.”

Castiel finally wrestled himself away from Dean and said, “That’s how you make an introduction?”

Dean shrugged. “All parties were previously introduced.” And walked back over to the kitchen.

In the living room, Lila clapped a hand over her mouth. “I want to giggle and that’s completely inappropriate, right?”

“I’m not even sure what’s appropriate anymore.” He gestured to a small shelf. “This is where all the DVDs are kept. If you get bored, feel free. Here, let me show you your room.” They wandered back down the hall and past the door where Ryan slept. Next door was a room with a deep red comforter and a thousand pillows, it seemed like. Sam had a completely inappropriate thought of seeing Lila there, hair thrown over the pillows, fist under her chin, peacefully asleep. Lila frowned.

“There are other rooms, if you like.” Sam said.

“I’m not sure there are enough pillows.” She smiled at him and said, “Its fine. Great even. Better than sleeping in the car, let me tell you.” She flopped down on the bed and just like that, Sam was seeing her peaceful and asleep, her hair spread out over the pillows-

“Oh yeah. I’ve done that a time or two.” Sam said, referring to sleeping in the car.

“How big is your bed? That monstrosity must take up half the room.” Lila asked distractedly, glancing around the room.

“My room is right across the hall if you want to-“ Sam stopped himself, cocked his head and laughed. “Yeah, that didn’t sound like a come on at all.” He laughed again and offered her his hand. She let him haul her to her feet.

“Let’s go see if the lovebirds need any help.” She said, tugging her hand from his. On the way down the hall, she stopped in Ryan’s room and sighed. “He’ll probably sleep through the night. He gets this way after a big case.”

“How long has been able to exorcise them?” Sam asked.

“The first one that I can recall, he was about two. The mailman. Talk about terrifying.” Lila shook her head at the memory. “After that, he’s just been able to gradually take on more. Like, upping his tolerance or something.” She stopped just short of the kitchen and cleared her throat loudly. Twice. Sam coughed. Once they figured that the coast was clear they slowly entered only to see Dean and Cas working side by side.

“I read as much lore as I could on it and that was when I figured out who he was.” Lila shrugged. “I didn’t believe it at first. Who would want to believe it? But then I kept reading and he just kept… doing stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” Dean asked over his shoulder.

“He can sniff out supernatural beings. You name it, he can find it. He can exorcise demons with his mind. He can control fire with his mind and no, we are not going to be practicing that skill in the near future. Sometimes I think he can teleport but he says it’s just running really fast. When he isn’t drained like this, he is surprisingly strong.” She rubbed her hands over her face. “Ryan was about to be taken away and I couldn’t handle it. So one day, I just packed up some of our stuff, threw it in the trunk and took off.”

“How old was he?” Dean asked.

Lila sat down at the table. “Two.”

“You were eighteen and you took off with your two year old kid without any plan?” Sam asked. Cas frowned at the two of them and Lila caught his eye.

“I had a plan. To get away. To hide him until I had a chance with him. He needed a chance to be good. So every chance I get, I tell him how good he is. How he makes me proud of him every single day. How smart he is. How precious he is.” All three guys were openly staring at her now. Sam’s mouth was open just a little. “Ok! It’s corny, I know, but I have this theory that if every day you are told how fucking awesome you are and how much you rock and that you are loved, you have a better chance at fighting. And he has a better chance at fighting whatever darkness is in him.” She stood abruptly and shucked her hoodie off in one sly move and Sam had to swallow. Dean and Cas looked mildly amused. On her right bicep, in childish handwriting were the words _Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that._ And on her left bicep were the words _Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that._

“So that’s my whole plan. That’s how I want to raise him. Just, in so much love he chokes on it. If it comes down to it, that’s what I want him to remember from here.” She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. Sam was struck by how Dean-like that gesture was.

“You’re doing a great job.” Cas said gravely.

She smiled at him. “Sometimes, I wonder.” There was silence. “Ok! Enough serious talk. Is there a beer around here somewhere? Can I help do anything?”

“Beer is in the fridge and Cas and I have it handled here. You can set the table, if you want?”

“I got it.” Sam said. “Sit down. It’ll be awhile. It’s totally worth it, but it’ll be awhile.”

Lila reluctantly sat, obviously not used to not having anything to do. “Cas, did you really pull Dean out of hell?”

Sam grinned. Obviously there was nothing off limits with this girl.

“I did. It… what’s the term again, Dean? It sucked.” Castiel said gravely, his blue eyes deadly serious.

“I imagine hell to be an unpleasant place.” Lila replied just as seriously.

Castiel nodded.

“Are all the rumors true? The angel, obviously. But Stanford, Sam?”

“Yep, that one is true.” Sam said, pulling some paper towels out of a drawer and throwing them on the counter. “Seems like you are coaching Ryan for the big leagues too.”

Lila shrugged. “I want the best for him.”

“Where did you hear about us?” Dean asked.

“Other hunters. They would tell us all these crazy stories about the Winchesters. For the longest time I didn’t think you guys existed, but Ryan was insistent. Good thing too. I almost shot you yesterday.”

Castiel frowned once again as if this would have inconvenienced him. Dean smiled at him. The frown did not stay in place that long.

Dinner was excellent, as it always was with Dean as the chef. Compliments were heaped on Dean and his newly found kitchen skills. He smiled and leaned back, slinging an arm around Cas’ chair. He stroked his neck lightly and everyone sat around for a while, enjoying each other’s company.

“All right, firehouse rules.” Lila said, standing up. “You two get out of here. Sam and I have it from here.” She stood and started whisking the dishes off the table, gently nudging Cas and Dean to the hallway.

“It’s ok, Lila, we can handle it.” Castiel said.

“No, really. Go. Fair’s fair. Sam, get your ass over here.” Lila pushed Dean towards the hall and turned back to the kitchen. She was gathering the dishes over near the sink. “I’ll wash, you dry.” She said.

They worked together in a companionable silence until Lila started humming under her breath.

“You have a sweet voice.” Sam said. He immediately blushed to the tips of his hair. _Sweet voice? God, Winchester. Could you be any more of an idiot?_

Lila blushed. “Thanks. I used to sing in high school chorus. Had a lot of fun.”

“Was it hard? I mean, raising Ryan alone.” Sam asked.

“You know, not really.” She handed him a dish. “I think people make situations like that a lot harder than necessary. Being there for Ryan was the best thing I could have done with my life. I don’t regret anything about it.”

Soon enough the dishes were done and the entire kitchen sparkled. The living room was deserted and Dean’s bedroom door was closed. Lila smirked at it and walked over to Ryan’s door. He was sprawled out in the middle of the bed, taking up as much room as possible. The blankets were crumpled at his feet and a pillow was on the floor. Sam watched from the doorway as she plucked the pillow from the floor and put it back under his head. She sat next to him for a moment and then place a hand first to his forehead and then to his cheek. The international gesture for checking his temperature. She tugged one blanket up to chest but left the other two at his feet.

“He’s running a fever.” Lila said, more to herself than Sam.

“Is that normal?” Sam asked.

“It’s happened before but I wouldn’t say it’s normal. I got some stuff in the car.” Lila stood and walked quickly from the room to the door that led down to the garage. She skipped down the stairs and fumbled for a light switch in the darkness before finally finding it. She pulled three bags from her trunk and almost ran back up to Ryan’s room. She pulled a thermometer from one and traced it over his head and back behind his ear. She sighed and then began to pull different medications from the same bag.

“Ok. Hm. Ok.” She said to the bottle in her hand.

“I could see if Cas is um- not busy? He’s usually pretty good at making people feel better.” Sam offered.

Lila smiled in a distracted manner. “No, it’s not that bad. Just give him some ibuprofen and he’ll be on his way. It’s not a big deal.”             

She poured out the right dose, and set it on the night stand. She began to carefully undress him. They had only taken off his shoes earlier, thinking he might wake up on his own.

Sam was fascinated. He had never seen a mom at work. They had seemed like mythical creatures to him. As she worked she sang a song underneath in her breath.

_I'll whisper quietly, I'll give you nothing but truth,_

_I'll hold you tightly, I'll give you nothing but truth,_

_If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you_

She tossed his clothes on the floor and said, “All right baby. Gotta wake up now. I need you to take some medicine.” It took a few more minutes but then Ryan finally came around. “Mom?” He asked.

“Yeah, here, drink this.”

He opened his mouth obediently and she tipped the liquid in his mouth and almost immediately had a bottle of water in her hands. He started coughing and she pressed in into his hands. “Drink.” She encouraged. He did and his coughing calmed right away.

“I’m cold.” He said. From the doorway, Sam could see the sweat forming on his forehead.

“I bet you are.” Lila said, pushing him back on his pillow and pulling the blanket up to his chest. “Well, there goes any sleep I might be getting.” She sighed and said, “Ah, the life of being a single parent.”

“I could stay up-“ Sam started

Lila waved her hand away. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head over it. I’ve been doing this for eleven years. I’m used to it.”

“If you’re sure… It’s not a problem. Between hunting and Stanford, I got used to not getting sleep.” Sam offered.

“No, you go ahead.” She grabbed one of the bags from the floor and shooed him out. “We’ll be fine. I promise.”

Lila walked over to her own room and quickly changed into some pajamas. Drowning in an old jersey from a college she never attended, she grabbed a bunch of blankets from her bed and shuffled over to Ryan’s room. She began to make a nest next to a wall and was not terribly surprised when a pillow whacked her over the head.

“You said you didn’t have enough pillows.” Sam said, a smirk on his lips.

“You didn’t let me finish. I was going to say, I didn’t have enough pillows for the western half of Europe. I’ll be clearer next time.” She said, taking the pillow anyway and throwing it on her nest. Sam left and returned with five or six more blankets. She frowned at him.

“It’s going to get cold down there and I’ll feel bad if you aren’t comfortable.” He said. She stood and they began to rearrange the blankets once more and she stretched out on them.

“Oh, this is nice.” She said. “This is actually really, really nice.” She flapped a hand at the desk behind Sam. “Hand me that bag right there.”

Sam did as she asked and she dug around in there before finally pulling a book out. She flipped on the table lamp next to her and patted the spot next to her. “Since you aren’t going away any time soon, sit with me. I’ll read to you.”

“Just one sec.” He said. He dashed off to his room where he brushed his teeth, pulled on his own pajamas and tried to tame his wild hair before giving up. He came back and shyly approached Lila. She patted the spot next to her once more.

“Come on. I love reading to people. Ryan hardly lets me anymore.”

Sam dropped to his knees and curled up next to her, head on a pillow and looked up. “All right. All set.”

Lila cleared her throat dramatically, _"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea."_

It’s hard to say who fell asleep first. Or who curled up next to whom for warmth. All they really knew was after a scant few moments of peace, they woke up to choking and gasping in the bed next to them.

Lila leapt to her feet and Sam was right behind her. Ryan was on the bed, twisting and turning, and mumbling under his breath.

“Is he seizing?” Sam asked, pushing his hair out of his face.

“Dreaming.” Lila said. She grasped one of his arms as he flung out once more, almost hitting her in the face. “Night terrors. It happens more often than he would like to admit.”

To her left, Sam grabbed Ryan’s legs to prevent him from kicking them and with an untold strength, Ryan pulled his arm back and flung Lila back, causing her to trip over Sam’s legs and smash her head into the wall behind her. She saw black at the edge of her vision but stumbled to her feet anyway. Sam let go of Ryan and rushed over to her, fingers skimming her chin to turn her head.

“Sam? Lila?” Came a voice from the middle of the room.

Suddenly Ryan sat up with a great gasp, causing everyone in the room to flinch and turn towards him. Dean rushed in just at that moment. Ryan stared at everyone, his mother on the floor, Sam crouched next to her, Cas in the middle of the room in an AC/DC tshirt and soft gray pajama pants, Dean in the doorway in pajama bottoms as well.

“Mom?” He asked.

Lila stood and smiled. “It was just a nightmare, baby. Everyone here has had a couple in their life.”

“Try a couple last night.” Dean muttered.

Ryan flung his arms around his mom fiercely. “I dreamt that you left.” He walked over to Sam and patted his face affectionately but almost as if he was searching for something. He stared at Sam for a long time.

“I’m right here, buddy.” Sam finally said.

Ryan nodded slowly, staring for a moment longer. He shuffled over to Castiel who was staring down at him before Ryan slowly slipped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. “Don’t go. Don’t go.” Castiel placed a hand on Ryan’s head and ran his hand through his hair but did not reply. From behind Cas, Ryan made grabby hands at Dean, motioning him to come closer. Curious, and sending a look over to Sam and Lila, he did. Then he wrapped his arms around both. Castiel looked pleased at being in the middle of such an affectionate sandwich and Dean just looked grateful.

“I can’t do this.” Ryan finally managed to huff out and there was a crack in his voice that made everyone aware that he was on the edge of crying. “I don’t want to _be_ this. Castiel, can’t you fix me? Make me not like this?”

Dean raised his head from Castiel’s shoulder and looked down at the little boy. “Ryan, Cas can’t fix you.” Ryan raised his eyes to Dean and it took everything in him not to wrap him up in a blanket and throw some cartoons on tv and fix everyone some hot chocolate and make them all forget about what had just happened. Dean was a _fixer_. It was ground into him to make everything better. Instead, Dean hardened his look and held Ryan’s eye. “He can’t fix you because there is nothing to fix. Everything that you’ve done; all those people you’ve saved? They’re alive because of you. That’s hero stuff, man. Guys twice your age don’t even know what that means.” Dean let go of Cas and tugged Ryan out of his arms. Ryan sat down on his bed and Dean sat next to him. He leaned his forearms on his knees and Sam was reminded of all the times that they would have serious discussions when Dad wasn’t around. That’s exactly how Dean looked. “You are a good kid. You’re smart and you’ve got a good mom. Man, you’ve got everything going for you. Sam and I, we didn’t have half that. There isn’t anything to fix. Ok?” Ryan nodded and Dean said once more, “Ok?”

Ryan sniffed, “Yes, sir.”

“I’m going to lend you my angel for tonight. He always keeps my nightmares away. You get back to sleep. He’ll stay in here with you, all right?” Dean said.

Cas looked very grave and serious at his new assignment. Lila saw a soldier receiving new orders for an important mission just then. “I’ll keep watch for nightmares. Your mother and Sam need rest.” He nodded to the two of them. “Go. He’ll be fine.”

Lila hesitated still until Dean placed a hand on her lower back and ushered her out of the room. She turned back to drop a kiss on Ryan’s forehead and smile appreciatively at Cas. Once down the hall, she swayed on her feet. Sam and Dean immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her into Sam’s room.

“I think I’m bleeding.” She said. Sam lifted her hair off her neck and sure enough, the collar of her jersey was collecting a fair amount of blood. He frowned over at his brother. Dean pushed Sam out of the way and taking thick handfuls of Lila’s hair began to look for the cut. She began to sway on her feet again and Sam pulled a chair out for her.

“Found it.” Dean said triumphantly. “Sam, go get the clippers and the saline solution.”

“You cut my hair, your angel will be picking you up in pieces.” Lila muttered under Dean’s hands. He winked at Sam who rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go get Cas.” Sam said.

In Ryan’s room, the boy was bundled underneath a mound of blankets and Cas was reading _Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy_ by the dim light of the lamp.

“Hey, Cas. Dean needs you for a minute. I’ll stay with Ryan.”

Cas looked up and nodded, left the book on the nest he had now claimed and left the room. Sam leaned against the door and studied the small mountain of blankets that shivered occasionally.

“Do you ever wish you weren’t who you were?” It asked him.

“Lots of times.” Sam said.

“What gets you around it?”

“Dean, usually. I mean, he’s obnoxious and disgusting and he makes out with his boyfriend right in front of me on purpose but I couldn’t ask for a better big brother. Cas too. He’s my best friend. It’s hard to find someone to talk to about classic literature in our line of work. And Cas has met most of the authors of the past three thousand years or so.”

There was a long silence and Cas appeared suddenly back on the nest of blankets. “My mom gets me through it. She’s the best.”

“She does seem pretty great.” Sam agreed. “What did you dream about?”

“I’m not sure. There was fire, but it was cold. Mom left, Castiel couldn’t fly, your face was all messed up and I couldn’t find Dean. I think- I think it was my fault.”

“Nothing has been written in stone yet.” Cas said from his own pile of blankets. “Stories that were foretold centuries ago have a way of getting mixed up in the grand scheme of things.”

“How many times has that happened?”

“Just once. But it was a doozy.” Sam said. “Good night Ryan. Try to sleep.”

“Night Sam.”

Sam entered his room just as Dean tossed a shirt at Lila from Sam’s closet. “You might be better off wearing a circus tent, but Cas took my last clean shirt and Sammy doesn’t mind sharing.” Dean turned his back to close the door and Sam’s eyes widened as Lila pulled her shirt off, wearing only a sports bra underneath.

“Well, as long as he doesn’t mind.” Lila said. Dean caught Sam’s eye as he turned back around and smirked.

“Nah, I don’t think he minds. I’m going back to bed, children. Sleep tight.”

Lila whirled around to face Sam. She stared at him a moment before saying, “I should- my room- yeah.” She snuck around Sam and slipped into her own room, closing the door partially.

“Yeah.” Sam said, feeling a weird warmth at seeing Lila in his old Stanford shirt. Dean was right. She was drowning in it. And Sam couldn’t figure out a reason why that was bad.

~~~

Everyone slept in a little later the next morning. When Sam made it out of his bed and into the kitchen, Ryan was there, clutching a ceramic mug.

“Ok, I’ll let the hunting thing go, but coffee? Really?” Sam asked.

“Dean made hot chocolate.” Ryan said.

“Oooh. Is there any left?”

“Sorry, Sam.” Dean said from the stove. “You snooze, you lose.”

Lila stumbled in then, eyeing Ryan as well. “That better not be coffee,” She growled.

“Hot chocolate.” Ryan said.

“Oh, is there any more?” She asked, perking up.

“Yeah, give me just one sec.” Dean said.

“What!” Sam sputtered. He watched in jealous envy as Dean poured two cups of hot chocolate in thick white mugs, added a dash of caramel, whip cream and chocolate shavings to the top. He handed one mug over to Lila who grinned and started to keep the other for himself but couldn’t keep from laughing at Sam’s face.

“Here, you big puppy.” Dean said. “I already had one.” Sam relished the feel of the warmth against his hands.

“Where’s Cas?”

“Grocery shopping. We were out of damn near everything.”

“There is a werewolf near.” Ryan said, tipping his head up as though he were listening to something being said to him.

Silence.

“Where?” Lila asked, reaching for a pen and piece of paper on the kitchen counter.

“Hm. Hard to say.” Ryan eyes closed and he took a deep drink of his hot chocolate. Sam and Dean were already half way to their feet. Lila waved them back down.

“If it’s too far away, don’t try to push it. You’re not at 100%.” Lila suggested.

“No, he’s not too far away.” Ryan hadn’t opened his eyes.

 _What the hell?_ Dean mouthed at Sam. Sam shrugged.

“Seattle. On a street corner.”

“Is he dangerous?” Lila asked, tapping the pen to the counter.

“Yes. Oh very much so, mom.” Ryan frowned. He opened his eyes. “He killed three people this week.”

“Does he know he’s a werewolf?” Dean asked.

“He revels in it, sir.” Ryan’s frowned deepened. “He would be the wolf all the time if he could.”

“Well, let’s get some breakfast, and get going.” Lila stood and stretched. “It’s a sixteen hour drive? Not too bad.”

“We fly.” Dean said.

“Not all of us have the funds, Mr. Wayne.” Lila said.

“No, Cas flies us.” Sam said.

“Angel Air.”

Lila looked impressed. “Breakfast rule still stands. I’m going to get a shower.”

“Yes, mom.” Ryan said. He grinned at his feet.

“What are you all smiles about?” Sam asked.

“She’s proud of me.” He said.

“Course she is.” Dean said, putting the pan into the sink.

Cas showed up just then. “Do you know how many types of eggs there are? Twenty three, Dean. Twenty three. And you didn’t specify what kind you wanted.” With a huff he put down the bags on the counter and glared at Ryan. “That better not be coffee.”

Ryan grinned.

Three hours later everyone was ready. Cas flew first Dean and Sam and then Ryan and Lila. They ended up in a library in a section that looked like it hadn’t been used in the past decade. They walked out casually and onto a busy street.

“Which way, kid?” Dean asked.

“West. He’s close to the water.”

Sam adjusted the bag over his shoulder and Cas and Dean took the lead. Lila and Ryan fell in step behind them and Sam strode next to Ryan.

“I like Seattle.” Ryan declared. “I like the way it smells. And how it rains. I like the way rain smells, Mom.”

“Me too.” She agreed, looking up at the threatening rain clouds. “I just would appreciate a little sunlight while we are here.”

“It’ll be fine, mom.” He grinned and ran up ahead. Sam watched as Lila’s instincts took over and she started to reach to pull him back but she saw he was headed straight for Dean’s side, she relaxed a little bit. Sam and Lila watched as Ryan tried to get ahead and Dean hooked a couple of fingers in his hoodie and pull him back. Lila tried to stifle her grin but couldn’t.

“He’s good with him.” Lila stated.

“Dean is great with kids. They love him.” Sam agreed. “He raised me from when I was six months old.”

“Did an ok job, too!” Dean tossed over his shoulder. This time it was Castiel who reached a hand out to tug Ryan out of the way of some strangers.

“Dad wasn’t around much?” Lila asked.

“Understatement.” Sam said. “He did what he could with what he had, I can see that now. But… no. He wasn’t around.”

“Parents fuck up all the time.” Lila watched as Dean placed a hand on Ryan’s shoulder and Castiel took a gentle hold of his sleeve while they waited for the crosswalk signal. “It’s the most terrifying part about being one.”

Sam tossed that thought around in his head. “There is no way you can do a perfect job. It’s impossible. Too much affection, too little. Around too much, not enough. It doesn’t matter. You stray to one side of the line or the other at one point.”

Lila looked up at him. He looked down at her. “Exactly.” She said softly. “This is a job that’s designed for you to fail at. I’m just trying to fail less than others.”

A crowd of strangers separated them for a moment and Lila stuffed down a moment of panic. “Can you see him?” She asked, looking up at Sam.

“Yep. Right there with Dean and Cas.”

“I really don’t want to be that crazy mom-“

“Circumstances are a little different in your case.” Sam huffed out a laugh and they crossed the street. They followed Ryan’s directions, ending in a small, nondescript building. It looked recently abandoned, and desolate. The rain started just then and Lila sighed. “Of course it would rain. Of course it would. We live in a horror movie anyway.”

Cas went in first with Dean trailing close behind. Lila went next with Ryan entering right after her with Sam going in last. The smell hit them first. It was of putrid bodies left too long in the sun and other things that made Lila’s stomach turn and Dean turn a deathly shade of pale.

“Where is he?” Sam asked, aiming his gun.

“Come out.” Ryan demanded.

“Sir.” A large man came out from hiding behind a stack of pipes. He was huge, even by Sam’s standards. Taller and thicker than Sam, everyone was looking up at him. As Ryan approached him, he lowered his head as though he had been scolded by an angry parent.

“Was that you? Last week? All three of those people?” Ryan demanded. Dean looked over at Lila. He raised his eyebrows and she held up a finger.

“I’m sorry, sir. I just- I couldn’t stop-“ The man stuttered.

Ryan made a disgusted sound. “That’s enough. We’re done here. You won’t be… _needed_ , anymore.”

“Wait!” The man roared as Ryan turned on his heel and walked away. “Wait, let me prove to you, I can- I can be better-“

“I want a word with your sire.” Ryan hissed and even Cas drew back a step. There was a wave of anger washing through him. It felt like Lucifer was near again. Dean took a step forward but was stopped by Lila’s hand. She shook her head vehemently and tugged Dean behind her. She pushed Sam back too so that now she was in the front of their small group, right behind Ryan.

“He- I can’t reach him-“

Ryan snorted out a laugh and said, “Of course you can’t. Of course. I’ll just tell the Morningstar of your inadequacies and he can see how to deal with a bad dog that can’t obey.” Ryan sounded years older and far more cynical than he had any right to sound. Cas place a hand on Dean’s shoulder and they exchanged a look.

“Sir, I mean no offense, but the Morningstar would not appreciate you traveling with an angel and a whore.”

Lila flinched.

Ryan raised a hand and snapped. Suddenly, the pipes that the man had been hiding behind twisted around his wrists, ankles and his neck, effectively pinning him to the wall.

“That’s. My. Mother.” Ryan whispered. He raised his hand once more.

“Ryan, no flaying today.” Lila said.

“Mom, you heard him.”

“And _you_ heard _me_.” She replied. “What do I care if some backwoods idiot called me a name?” Lila placed a hand on Ryan’s back. “Get the answers you need and let’s go.”

She turned and walked away from her son with her head down. Sam and Castiel watched her in silence.

“Where is your sire?” Ryan asked the man once more.

The man refused to answer until Ryan tightened the pipes around his neck just a little more before sputtering out an answer.

Before nightfall, Dean had killed the sire and freed seven people from being werewolves. All in all, not bad for a day’s work.

Castiel flew them home that night, where Lila slumped onto the couch. She had been particularly quiet that day, staying close to Sam’s side and not letting Ryan out of her sight. Ryan went downstairs and dug a backpack out of the Challenger and dragged it upstairs. With a thump, he set it at the table and pulled out a history book. Dean said he would start on dinner and Cas went to change out of his clothes and into some of Dean’s. Sam passed by the couch where Lila was curled up and settled a blanket over her. She smiled absently at him and he went and sat at the table with Ryan.

“What are you studying?” Sam asked.

“History.” Ryan sighed. “I get it mixed up with the lore sometimes. You have to be careful not to hand in a paper to your correspondence instructor about wendigos.”

Sam chuckled. “That’s probably a good idea. Want some help?”

Ryan looked up, his eyes wide. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, I used to kind of like this thing.”

“That would be great.” Ryan pulled a thick notebook from his backpack and then handed a stack of papers to Sam. “Questions with the answers. I need to hit all the important parts that are highlighted so that I can pass this test.”

In the kitchen, Cas rolled up his sleeves and reached for a knife to cut some vegetables for a salad. He glanced over at his shoulder to see Lila staring at a blank TV and Sam and Ryan consulting each other over a book. Dean was humming a familiar melody as he began to use a dry rub on the steaks for tonight’s dinner. Cas questioned his choice in meals; especially after tonight’s kill. But a certain peace had settled over Dean that only happens when he was cooking and Cas was loathe to disrupt it. The sounds of Sam and Ryan talking about historical events drifted over to the kitchen and Dean looked towards them.

“He likes him, doesn’t he?” Dean murmured to Cas.

“Which one of them do you speak of?” Cas asked, throwing another look over his shoulder.

Dean shrugged. “Does it matter?” He asked.

Cas watched as Sam shared a grin with Ryan over a book and Ryan laughed. “I suppose not. Does it not worry you, Dean that Sam was Lucifer’s vessel and Ryan is the Anti-Christ?” He asked suddenly.

“Thought about it.” Dean admitted, staring at the steaks instead of looking at Cas. “But does it matter? Sam already left Lucifer in the cage. Ryan and Lila- they seem to have a fighting chance, you know? Maybe there is a reason they are here now. Maybe Ryan needs Sam.”

Cas turned Dean’s words around in his head and decided that he could see the logic. If anyone could fight off evil influences, it would be Sam. He would be able to show Ryan the way with the benefits of lessons learned from past mistakes.

Sam and Ryan studied hard that night. Cas eventually came to sit with them, occasionally throwing in an insight you could only get from someone who had lived through history from. Ryan’s research paper that was due at the end of semester began to fill in nicely with their help and his pre-test went better than what he had previously scored. Dean called everyone to the table and began to platter the steaks that were fresh off the grill. Lila hadn’t moved from her spot on the couch and when Sam passed by her, he placed a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes snapped open instantly and she placed her own hand over Sam’s. He stopped and let her remember for a moment where she was and he saw the moment it all clicked for her; her features softened up at him and she smiled at him.

“Strange to take a nap and wake up safe and sound.” She said softly.

“The life of a hunter.” Sam said.

“The life of a hunter.” She agreed.

“Dinner is ready. Steak and potatoes and vegetables and god knows what else he made. Come on.” Sam said, offering her the same hand up. She let him pull her up and when Ryan turned to his mom for something, he saw their hands joined. Lila dropped Sam’s hand immediately and stepped closer to Ryan.

“Come on. Let’s see what magic Dean has cooked us up tonight.” She ruffled his hair. “Did you study?”

“Yeah, Sam and Cas helped.”

“Did they now? Was their actual studying or just a bunch of messing around?” She grinned to soften the scolding.

“No, I really studied. _Really_. I got a 97 on my pretest. Sam, tell her.”

“He did really well. I think he’s got it.” Sam agreed, from behind Lila.

“Well, we’ll do the test tomorrow before we hit the road,” Lila said. Dean and Cas and Sam turned to her at the same time but she kept her eyes glued on Ryan. “Then we’ll see how well you’ve got it.”

Ryan’s face fell but Lila straightened her shoulders and headed for the table, where Dean was putting the steaks on plates and shoving the salad bowl at Cas. Cas frowned and began to dole out helpings of salad to everyone while Sam gathered the salad dressing from the fridge. Dinner was a somewhat quiet affair, only the soft murmurings of people asking for things to be passed over to them. It grated on Dean’s nerves and Cas could almost see the irritation coming off of him. He skimmed his fingers over Dean’s forearm at one point and gave him a pointed look. Dean got it and took a deep breath.

“Where do you think you guys are headed, Lila?” He asked.

She shrugged. A non-committal gesture if he had ever seen one. He could read people as well as Cas could sometimes and this told him that she didn’t really want to go. “The beach sounds nice right about now. When was the last time we took care of some water monsters, kid?”

“Two years ago.” Ryan replied. She glanced over at him; she hadn’t actually expected an answer.

“It’s just, and I don’t mean to inconvenience you or anything, but we could really use you guys here. Especially Ryan.” Dean said, gesturing at the two of them with his fork. “And if it’s about you know, money or anything like that-“

“Dean, when has this job _ever_ been about money?” Lila snorted. She laid down her fork and leaned forward. “The only thing this job is about is keeping Ryan hidden and safe.”

“Keep him safe and hidden here.” Cas said.

Lila frowned at him. “I can’t do that to you guys.”

Dean snorted and Sam smirked. “It’s not like we don’t have the room.” Dean said.

“And it’s not like we don’t want you here.” Sam said. “We do. And I think it would work.”

“We all think it would work.” Dean amended.

“You know, this is kind of sudden.” Lila joked. “We’ve known you guys for what? Three days and you want us to move in? Gee, that’s a lot of commitment.”

Sam colored and said, “It’s not. It’s just – ok, Ryan, buddy you done? We need to talk to your mom.” Ryan raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I guess.” Ryan said. Most of his steak and salad was gone and he had only been working on his mashed potatoes that he shoved one last bite in his mouth.

“Let’s go for ice cream, Ryan.” Cas suggested. “We’ll be in New York, if you need us.” Cas touched Ryan’s shoulder and they were off.

Lila sat back and gestured at Sam and Dean who were sitting across from her. “Ok, let’s hear it. Let’s hear how you think that us being here will be so much better. Let’s hear, exactly, how I can be a better parent with the two of you helping me.”

“Lila, it’s not that-“

“Oh, _okay_.” She said, glaring at Sam.

“Listen, we grew up the sons of hunters and we know a thing or two about the whole life-“ Dean started. And suddenly Lila stood up. Her face was shadowed and her eyes were closed off to them.

“We appreciate your hospitality. Really. But I think its best that we leave now instead of in the morning.” She pushed her way from the chair and around to the table. “If you could please call Castiel home with my child that would be great.” She stomped her way down the hall and as she did she began to tie her hair up in a complicated bun. She threw open her door and tossed all three of her duffel bags on her bed. She began to gather up all the things that had been strewn around her room and in Ryan’s room. Sam entered the room with Dean close behind him. She whirled around on them and both took a small step back. There was a ferocity to her that neither of them had seen before. “This is going to sound really insulting and I’m going to mean it to sound like that, ok? Do not ever compare me to your father. You know _your_ lives as hunters, ok? You don’t know what it’s like for Ryan and I and it’s really insulting for you to think that I would _ever_ do what your father did to you.” Dean’s face hardened and Sam looked from the two of them.

“My dad-“ Dean started.

“Yeah, did the best he could. I’ve heard the line. Believe me; I have heard that line over and over. But no, he didn’t. Not really. The best he could have done would be to put you first. Don’t you think that I _dream_ of the day that I can send Ryan to school or have a house with a living room where he can loaf around or play video games or be able to invite someone over for pizza? Don’t you think I would sacrifice everything that I have right now to give him that? But no, he never did put you first. He put his revenge first. And he made you, Dean, older than your age. He created this rift with Sam because of it. Hunters know the story and they told us all the time.” She took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and said, “How _dare_ you think that of me.”

Sam and Dean shared another glance and Sam could practically see Dean stuffing down his own temper. Lila was him, just years previous. “It’s really, really hard ok?” She said suddenly, whirling back around and gathering Sam’s shirt in her hands. “It’s really hard keeping him away from demons and hell and making sure he eats right and does his homework and gets enough rest and fighting off his nightmares and fighting off everything else. You think you know how hard it is, and then suddenly something happens that makes it harder.” She turned back around and her brown eyes were bright with tears. “And then we come across you guys and you are just here. Just, _right here_ and these last three days have been like a damn vacation. And I’m going to have to take him back on the road and he doesn’t complain much, he really doesn’t, but I know he hates it. He hates the picnics and the crappy TV and not knowing anyone but me. He hates all of it but he won’t say anything because that’s how _good_ he is. And I’m going to have to take him back out on the road and the sooner I do, the easier it will be for both of us.”

“But you don’t have to leave. Stay with us, Lila.” Dean half begged. He saw the chance that Ryan had, laid out in front of him like a buffet. A chance that he and Sam never had. “We don’t think you can be a better parent to that kid than you already are, but we know how hard it can be out there just the two of us, let alone with a kid, ok? Just, give us a chance. A month. Just one month here with us and if it still bothers you and you feel like you still need to leave, then, fine.” Dean made a cutting gesture with his hand. “You won’t get an argument from us. But give us this chance, ok?”

“And it’s not just for you guys, Lila. We kind of need you here too. I like Ryan. He’s a good kid. Cas likes Ryan; he likes having someone around who is still learning. And Dean – Dean just likes kids. Ryan and you, you’re good for all of us.” Sam said, stumbling over some of his words. He couldn’t actually say the words _I want you to stay here; I like having you here; you and Ryan make things better for me_. Because while he wasn’t as emotionally constipated as Dean it was still hard to tell a woman that you had known all of three days this. So instead, he just stuffed his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat. Lila sighed and slumped down on the bed.

“I’m not sure how much longer we can run.” She muttered, pulling her hair out of the messy bun it was in and tugging it through her fingers.

“Well then, don’t.” Sam said, hunkering down in front of her. He leaned forward and caught her eye. “Dean and I are asking you to stay. Just for a while.”

Lila searched his eyes for a moment before sighing. “Ok.” She said.

Sam grinned and Lila returned a weak smile and instead of tugging on her own hair, she reached out and tugged on his. Then she stood and left her room, leaving Dean and Sam to stare after her. Dean hauled Sam to his feet and pointed at his face. “I just bought you a month. That’s a hell of a lot less time than I had with Cas, but you aren’t going to go through a big gay crisis like I did. So get on it. One month isn’t a lot of time in any circumstance.”

“I don’t know- what? What are you talking about?” Sam stuttered, well aware of the fact that Dean could see through him like a pane of glass.

“Oh please, Sam. You’ve been trailing after her since we met her. Go, I don’t know. Ask her on a date.”

Sam opened his mouth, turned to the door and looked back at Dean. “But- I just- She- She has a kid.”

“So now you’re against dating her because she has a kid?” Dean asked, incredulous.

“No! I mean- No! Do I ask her? Or do I take both of them? Where do we go? _Dean, what do I do?”_ And Dean was reminded of the first time that Sam wanted to ask Candace Olson out and didn’t know what to do.

“Take em both. Go to a movie or mini golf. Where do you think you would like to take them?” Dean shrugged. “I’m not sure. Just… yeah.” Dean clapped him on the shoulder. “Good luck, buddy.”

They were both startled when Lila stormed back into her room and pointed a finger at the both of them. “Next time you are trying to talk me into doing something, you better not gang up on me with the puppy dog eyes and crooked smiles and great hair. That’s not fair.” She said and left again. The boys traded a look and followed her. Cas and Ryan were back in the living room, eating two of the biggest ice cream cones in all of creation. Ryan grinned at the guys and Cas smiled, but only for Dean.

“Could you have found bigger ice cream cones, Cas?” Lila asked, handing Ryan a napkin.

“No.” He said, licking a stripe off the side of his own cone.

Lila sighed. Dean plopped down on the oversized recliner and Cas tucked himself between Dean’s shoulder and the absolute bare minimal space that was between Dean and the arm rest. Ryan wandered over to the DVD cabinet and began browsing through them. Lila sat down on the couch and Sam, seeing nowhere else to sit, sat down next to her. Albeit, on the other side of the couch. Dean rolled his eyes but reached over Cas for the remote, turning the TV on.

“Are we leaving tomorrow?” Ryan asked, his back to everyone.

Three pairs of eyes looked to Lila and she looked down at her hands. “No, baby. The guys want us to stay on for a bit. But if your grades start slipping, we will. We clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Ryan said, pulling a DVD out. “Can we watch this one?” He held up _The Sword and the Stone_.

“Sure thing, buddy. Pop it in. Dean loves that one.” Sam said.

“Damn right I do.” Dean said from his chair.

“Scootch, mom. I want the arm rest.” Ryan said. Lila sighed a long suffering sigh and scooted over closer to Sam while Ryan took the arm rest that Lila had been leaning on. Dean flipped through the menu screen of the DVD but when he glanced over at Ryan, he could have sworn there was a smirk on his lips. Dean might have found a partner with which to carry out his devious plans with yet.

One movie turned into two, two turned into three and when Dean lifted his head from a brief nap on Castiel’s shoulder, he looked over to see Ryan curled up next to his mom, his face leaning into her ribs because she was leaning into Sam, who had his arm around her and palm flat against Ryan’s back. Lila’s hand was curled into Sam’s shirt and Ryan seemed to be drooling on Lila.

“All according to plan…” Dean whispered to Cas who smirked at the three of them. Dean stood, almost dumping Cas off his lap and went over to the three of them. He leaned over, picked Ryan up easily and walked him over to his room. Cas followed and opened the door for Dean. He pulled the blankets back and they tucked him into bed.

“This-“ Dean started and looked up at Cas and then away quickly.

“What is it, Dean?” Cas asked, smoothing Ryan’s hair over his forehead. The boy mumbled something and Cas shushed him and laid two fingers on his head, ensuring a deeper and more restful sleep for the night.

“This is a good look for you.” Dean said. Cas looked up and smiled. He knew Dean wanted kids and when the time was right, Cas would be ready to be there for that adventure as well.

“It looks better on you.” Cas admitted. Dean held his hand out and they left the room, closing the door softly behind them. Dean started to pull Cas to their room before Cas stopped him and headed back to the living room. There, he laid a hand on Lila, who twisted underneath his touch until she was half lying on Sam. Cas did the same thing to Sam, laying a hand on his shoulder, and Sam twisted his own body to accommodate Lila so that his limbs were twined around her, holding her against him, warm and safe. Then Cas picked up the blanket that was on the smaller couch and laid it over them. When he looked up at Dean, he saw only surprise.

“What?” Cas asked.

“You sneaky bastard.” Dean said with more than a little respect in his voice.

“They will be more… uh, comfortable in this position.”

“Whatever.” Dean snorted. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” And Dean dragged Cas off to bed but not without one last look over his shoulder at Sam, fast asleep with Lila in his arms.

~~~

The first thought Sam had the next morning was that he was not Dean therefore he should know who was laying on top of him, curled up around him. Sam did not go for the one night stands, so in all logical reality, the name of the woman on top of him should come as easily-

 _Lila_.

Lila was lying on top of Sam, her full mouth open and soft against his collarbone, one small hand curled around his bicep, his hands steadying her on top his chest where she fit quite nicely. He wondered what woke him up; he was warm and comfortable, Lila’s weight barely a hindrance on his breathing. The rooms were all dark and quiet as far as Sam could see. The clock read three in the morning. Then he heard Lila moan. Not a really-good-dream kind of moan; that would be too much to ask for. Instead, it was the kind of moan that Sam had grown used to after Dean had gotten out of hell. It was helpless terror ringed in an equally helpless anger.

“Lila.” Sam whispered, pulling his hands away from her back and hips where they had been resting previously. “Lila, wake up.”

From experience, he knew waking up a hunter and being too close could result in someone getting injured but in this case, he had no choice. He pulled his hands away and put them above his head in an ‘I surrender’ sign and she finally woke up. One second she was asleep, and then next she was wide awake, pushing herself up on Sam’s chest, her thighs falling to either side of him before glaring down at him. Then she blinked and her expression cleared and she collapsed back down on his chest, pulling the blanket over both of their heads.

“Confession time.” She said.

“I’m all ears.” He said, pulling her closer to him.

“I have nightmares too.” She whispered.

“So you aren’t the big, bad mom that has a cool, untouchable psyche?” Sam asked, pretending to be aghast.

“No, I’m all of that too. Just with fears and nightmares and stuff.” She tugged both his hands back down around her waist and back. “But it helps to wake up here.”

“And by here do you mean _here_ or here in the bunker with us?”

“You’re pushing it, Sam.” Lila warned. He felt the brush of her lips on his collarbone and shivered. “But _here_ is really good spot too. Your turn.”

“I’m really glad we got you to stay.” He said immediately.

“That’s an obvious one. Pick another.” She murmured. With each word, her lips traced a small part of his collarbone.

“I will never be able to look at my own collarbone without thinking of this right here.” He whispered.

“That- that was a good one.” She said and he could hear the smile in her voice. 

 He stroked his hand down her hair, something he had wanted to do for ages now. “Go back to sleep Lila.”

And they fell asleep just like that; with Sam’s hand tangled in Lila’s hair, one of her hands lightly scratching the back of his neck and the other wrapped around his bicep. He slipped one hand underneath the thin cotton of her shirt across her back and for a sweet, solitary moment, they found a kind of stillness and harmony that neither one had known before.

~~~

The next morning was all easy smiles and stretches before Lila stumbled off to her room to fix the mess Sam had made of her hair and Sam laid back for a minute. Cas stumbled out, growled in Sam’s general direction and said, “It’s morning Sam. Not a time for you to be happy.”

“Aw, look at Mr. Grumpy-Pants.” Sam said, laughing.

“Well, someone is in a good mood.” Ryan groused from the hallway. He rubbed his eyes and glared at Sam too. Cas and Ryan glared at each other until Ryan asked, “Where’s Dean? Is he making hot chocolate this morning?” 

“He’s in the shower.” Cas muttered before flicking on the coffee maker. Sam stood and made his way to his own bathroom where he brushed his teeth. Once again in the kitchen, he pulled out eggs and bacon and potatoes while Cas glowered at him over the rim of his coffee cup and Ryan lazed on the couch that was still warm from Sam’s body. Sam put the bacon on the skillet and began to grate potatoes for hash browns and began humming a Janis Joplin song. Ryan turned the tv on to some cartoons and Cas watched from the table. Dean joined him later, wordlessly starting in on pancakes and hot chocolate and watching his brother out of the corner of his eye. Lila joined the crowd a moment later, pushing Sam out of the way gently with her hip so she could get to the sink. Then she began to crack eggs in a bowl before whipping them in a frenzy while singing _Another One Bites the Dust_. Even Dean smirked at that.

“You ready for that test?” Lila asked Ryan.

“Yep.”

“You need any last minute cramming?” Sam asked.

“Probably.”

“After breakfast when you become a human being again.” Sam said.

“Deal.”  

Pancakes, eggs, bacon and hashbrowns were served a bit later, with generous helpings of Dean’s hot chocolate. The day passed easily, without any word from other hunters or any visions from Ryan. That afternoon he aced his test and was thus rewarded with a chance to choose where they would go eat dinner or to stay in and choose dinner.

“Can we go back to the boardwalk?” Ryan asked, looking hopefully at Castiel. Cas was amiable to the idea and they were able to have corn dogs and hot dogs and cotton candy and ice cream for dinner that night. As the stars peeked out, Dean glanced up at them and thought a very vague _Thanks_ , for Ryan and for Lila. It had been a long time since Dean had seen Sam this happy. Lila and Cas were at the head of their small group, walking on the sand. Ryan would dart away to inspect something and then come back moments later. Dean and Sam walked behind them, just out of earshot but still able to keep everyone within sight.

“I can’t believe that we are here with two of the most powerful beings that have walked the face of the earth in a long time, and we still have the urge to keep an eye on them. It’s got to stop at some point.” Sam said, shaking his head.

“When you figure out how to stop watching Ryan, let me know so I can stop watching Cas.” Dean said. Sam smirked at his brother. “You still watch out for me.”

“You’re my baby brother, Sam. Never going to stop. Have you asked Lila out yet?”

Sam frowned and shook his head. “Not on an official, real date. No.”

“Get with the program, man. You got less than three weeks.”

“I will. Later on tonight.” Sam said diplomatically.

Ahead of them, Lila slipped her arm through Castiel’s. He leaned into her touch and she smiled. “I have found that I do enjoy human affection. I thought, at first, it was just Dean’s touch that I enjoyed. But you humans show your affection so freely. It is… endearing.”

“You’re endearing, Cas.” Lila said fondly.

“Sam cares for you.” Cas said abruptly, in that way of his. He frowned as he said it.

“I know. And I care for him. Don’t you approve?” She asked.

“I can feel hesitation on your part. Is it Ryan?”

“No, not at all.” Lila sighed. “It’s a lot of things.”

Castiel was silent but then laced his hand through Lila’s that was still on his forearm. “Humans are so peculiar. You have such a short time. A blink, really is all you are allotted. Yet, you waste your time vacillating between two decisions and it leaves you in a certain limbo for far too long. Make your decision, Lila. If not for you then for him.”

“You’re way too smart for me, Cas.” She whispered.

“You underestimate yourself. Don’t do that.”

The rest of the night was uneventful and the group returned to the bunker without any fanfare. At home, Cas shrugged off his trench coat and began to sift through the DVDs and Dean began to make popcorn. Sam began to pull drinks from fridge and Ryan made his way to the bathroom for a quick shower.

“Is this a tradition now? We all gather round and watch movies at the end of the day and have popcorn and soda?” Lila asked.

Cas turned, a DVD in his hand already. Sam had drinks in his arms and Dean was already pouring a bag of popcorn into a bowl and popping another one in the microwave. They all had the same exact look of confusion on their faces.

“Is there a problem, Lila?” Cas asked.

“It’s just so…”

“Domestic?” Dean provided, popping a few kernels in his mouth. “Yeah, but you get used to it. It’s kind of nice, even.”

“Is there something else you would rather do?” Cas asked.

“No. Dean’s right.” She looked over her shoulder at Cas and then at Sam and Dean. “This is nice.”

They were all settling in their same spots when Ryan came out to join them, looking shiny and clean and in new pajamas. He smiled at his mom and Sam and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. Lila handed him some popcorn before Sam snatched it back and then the _Fellowship of the Ring_ started. Cas leaned against Dean and for the first half of the movie, Lila sat stiffly between Ryan and Sam until Ryan stretched out his legs and Lila was forced to scoot closer to Sam. He stretched his arm over the back of the couch, giving Lila the perfect place to lean her head. She finally relaxed and Ryan’s eyes drifted shut.

“Let’s go somewhere. Me and you.” Sam murmured in her ear.

“That sounds like a pickup line, if ever there was one.” Lila muttered back.

“Not like _that_. Tomorrow. Let’s go to dinner or something.” Sam said.

She twisted and looked up at him. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course.” Sam said.

She paused and said once more, “Really.”

“Yes, Lila. Really. I would really like to take you out on a date.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him but remained silent. Instead she leaned against him and said very softly, “We’ll see.”

She wrapped an arm around his waist and settled herself against him. An hour later and even Cas was drifting off. Sam slipped out from Lila’s unconscious grasp and stood. It was his turn to pick Ryan up and carry him off to bed and tuck him in. Like Cas the night before, he placed a hand on Ryan’s forehead before sighing and turning around. He was startled to see Lila there, all bleary eyes and soft lips.

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Lila said earnestly, softly. “I do. I’m just- I just don’t- Hm.” She said. She stopped to consider her words for a moment before continuing. “I had Ryan when I was sixteen. After that, it’s just been me and him. I’m not sure how this works. And I’m just a little bit worried.”

Sam walked over to her and escorted her out of the room and into her own where she settled on the edge of her bed. “What could you possibly be worried about?”

“Well there is the same worry that every single parent has. Plus, my kid is destined to be the Anti-Christ. And I just-“ She stopped suddenly as though she were about to tell him something she had never meant to.

“You just what?” Sam asked. He felt strange towering over her so he sat down next to her and all of a sudden, there they were, on her bed, alone, at night. She stood at the exact same moment that that thought crossed her mind but Sam caught her hand and tugged her back towards him. He wanted to be near her. He had tried to fight the feeling all day long but now he was tired and he couldn’t help but remember the night before, waking up with her mouth tracing his collarbone. Now he pulled her close to him so that he could lean into her belly. She sighed and raised her hands to his hair.

“I just think that you deserve someone better than a hunter with commitment issues whose kid might or might not lead Satan’s army during the end times and is basically homeless.”

“ _You_ don’t think you’re good enough for _me_?” Sam asked. He wanted to scoff but held back. “I was supposed to raise Satan himself from hell, I’m a hunter too, the jury is still out on the commitment issues and I was pretty much homeless until a year ago. You’re sweet, kind, unselfish and an amazing mother.” He paused. “Dinner. A little dancing. How ‘bout it?”

There was a long pause before finally, softly, she said, “Ok.”

“Ok.” Sam replied, not moving away. Lila didn’t pull back or push him away for a long time.

“Ok, get out. I have a date tomorrow and I want to look good.”

Sam stood up and she tipped her head back to look all the way at him and he tugged her hair affectionately. “Lucky bastard.”

“I’ll let him know your opinion.” She said.

“Let him know you can be kind of a smart ass too.”

“I think he already knows.”

~~~

The next morning, Lila was gone when everyone began to gather in the kitchen. Dean raised an eyebrow but Ryan seemed completely unconcerned.

“Like she would leave me here with you guys. She likes you and all… but come on.” Ryan pointed out between mouthfuls of omelet. Sam still frowned and Cas disappeared momentarily to reassure everyone of Lila’s whereabouts. She was shopping, he reported back, and he had escaped only moments before he was asked his opinion on jeans. Dean nodded sagely and said, “Smart decision.”

It wasn’t until five hours later that Lila arrived back. Sam was helping Ryan study, Dean was giving Cas some pointers on shooting and dinner was on the stove.

“Hey mom.” Ryan said from the table.

“Hey kid. What are you up to?” Lila asked.

“Algebra. Cas tried to explain it but-“ Ryan frowned, remembering his lessons with Cas that took a wrong turn.

“They ended up on quantum physics so I took over.” Sam said.

Lila pursued her lips and nodded. “That’s fair.” She ruffled Ryan’s hair and said, “Sam and I are going out tonight. Do you think you can watch the boys?”

“How much are you paying me?” Ryan asked.

“I gave you life. If anyone owes anyone anything, you owe me bud.” She said, making her way down the hallway.

“She always wins with that argument.” He complained. Then he turned dark eyes on Sam and said, “Where are you taking her? Somewhere nice, I expect.”

“Just dinner and dancing.” Sam answered vaguely. He squirmed uncomfortably under Ryan’s gaze.

“Dinner and dancing and then you have her home.” Ryan said, a frown puckering his forehead.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Finish your equation.”

In her room, Lila was trying on a fair number of outfits in front of her mirror. She frowned at each one and, not for the first time, wished for an older sister who could have helped her. Instead, she prayed. “Dear Castiel, if you and your boyfriend could please come to my room, I need some help-“ and with a flutter of wings, they arrived.

“Is everything ok?” Dean asked, holding out a hand to steady himself, a gun in the other.

“-choosing an outfit for tonight.” Lila finished.

“Oh.” Dean said. “Ok, yeah. What is the plan?”

“Dinner and dancing.” Lila answered. “Not sure where, so should I do the jeans with the kind of slutty top or the dress that is only kind of shorter than I’m used to? Or is that implying too much?”

“What color is the dress?” Cas asked.

“Black.”

“Dress.” Cas and Dean said at the same time.

It had been Lila’s first instinct as well. She had seen it in a store window two months ago and had bought it on a whim. Cut high in the front, it dipped ponderously low in the back and flared out around her mid-thigh. Simple black heels and emerald earrings that Ryan had bought for her birthday completed the outfit. Lila went through every single grooming method she knew and laughed at the boys looks when she raided the kitchen for sugar, milk, honey and lemon to slather over her body in a homemade exfoliation ritual her mother taught her years earlier. Cas had flapped in to watch as she poured the concoction over her legs, rubbed it in and rinsed it off. His pinched looked cleared and he left her once again to her rituals. She shaved, plucked, exfoliated some more and put her hair up in curlers. After taking her hair out of the curlers, fixing her hair and makeup was a breeze. She slipped into the dress and stuffed her small clutch with money and lip gloss. Lila was looking once more in the mirror and worrying that maybe the dress was too much when there was a knock at the door.

“Lila, Sam is about ready and holyshitohmygod you cannot go out like that.” Dean said in a rush. “I mean, you can. Totally your choice but Sam is going to have to take a gun to fight everyone off. Cas, Cas, come here, babe. You have to check Lila out. I am _encouraging_ you to. She looks like one of your Dad’s good moods.” Cas stuck his head over Dean’s shoulder and Lila found it momentarily endearing how he stood on his tiptoes to do it.

“Lila.” Cas said gravely. “You are stunning.”

“I’m going to get Sam a gun.” Dean said wandering off.

“Do I look ok?” Lila asked.

“Amazing.” Castiel reassured her.

He offered her his arm and they went to the library where they heard Dean tell Sam, “You’ll need it. Just, believe me Sam.”

“I am not taking a gun on a date.” Sam said insistently. And then he raised his eyes from Lila’s feet, to her calves, to where the slight flare of the skirt barely touched her thighs and when Cas spun her slowly in a circle, he took the gun from Dean.

“Wow, mom.” Ryan squeaked from his corner at the dinner table. “You look really pretty.”

Lila flushed. “Thanks, Ryan.”

“Yeah, you look _really_ pretty.” Sam said. He didn’t look terrible himself, in black pants, black button up shirt and a tie that was striped and matte in an alternating fashion. The flush reached her hairline and Lila finally said, “All right, yes, I clean up nicely, can we go now?”

Sam rushed over and took Lila’s arm from Cas. At the last second, she turned around and said, “No more than two movies, ok? And don’t give him any junk food before bed, otherwise he won’t sleep. And make sure he brushes his teeth before bed, too.”

“We know the drill, Lila.” Dean said with a smirk.

“I was reminding Ryan about you, Dean.” Lila said and turned to the bunker door.

“Make sure they go to bed at a decent time, Cas.” Sam added, while Dean shot them death glares. He hurried after Lila to the Impala that Dean insisted he take. He opened the door for her.

“Always the gentleman.” Lila remarked, sliding in and making herself comfortable. The leather was cool on her back and she shivered. Sam slid in next to her and grinned.

“Let’s go.” He said.

Cas had managed to pull a few heavenly strings to get them into an exclusive restaurant about an hour north and when Gabriel was their maître di, Sam was not the least bit surprised. Gabe winked at Sam and held out a chair for Lila. Before leaving, he recommended the lemon cake for dessert and sent them a complimentary bottle of champagne.

“You two know each other?” Lila asked, as the waiter opened the bottle and poured for them.

“Old friends.” Sam said.

“Hunter?”

“Cas’ brother.” Sam provided, bringing a finger to his lips. Lila made a startled noise and turned in her chair and Gabriel grinned at her. After her initial shock wore away, they talked about everything. Conversation didn’t seem to be a problem and when the small jazz band took their place, Sam tugged her onto the dance floor. The tune was sweet and light and Sam spun her around the floor like he had been born for it. His hand came to rest on the small of her back and warmed her there.

“You are good at this.” She remarked.

“Stanford. Had to take an elective and I was late registering so ballroom dancing was all that was left. You aren’t too bad yourself.”

“Dad used to be an amateur ballroom dancer. Taught me everything I know.”  

“So when I suggest dinner and dancing-“

“I thought you were going to be terrible.” She admitted.

“And I thought I was going to impress you.” Sam said, feigning disappointment.

“You always impress me, Sam.” She said softly, honestly.

Sam felt his heart pulse in his throat and had to swallow and glance over at Lila’s shoulder to Gabe who gave him a great big grin and a thumbs up. Sam took a moment to glance over to the band and then over at the waiter who was refreshing their water and he wondered, honestly and truly, how he came to be here. He was the boy with the demon blood after all; an abomination. And now, he had a beautiful girl dancing in his arms, his brother was happy and whole with Cas back at the bunker and the only other worldly thing he had to worry about was the maybe vampire two hours north. That was it. This was his life, wheedled down to everything that contained his small world of happiness.

Sam nuzzled Lila’s hair and then dropped a kiss to the side of her head. She sighed and leaned against him and they stayed out on the dance floor for what seemed like forever, but not long enough.

They dropped back to their table only to have Gabriel arrive there almost as quickly with one large slice of lemon cake.

“On the house. And believe me, it’s to die for.” He grinned and winked. Then, he stopped and slowly looked at Lila for a long, long moment. He let out a low whistle.

“Does Sam know?” He asked.

“Of course I know.” Sam said a fork caught between his fingers. “Where do you think he is now?”

“Hopefully under angelic guardianship when his greatest strength is out on a date. Sam can I talk to you for a second?” Gabriel asked.

“No, Gabe. You can talk to me here. Lila will just make me tell her everything, anyway. Save me some trouble.”

“Her kid is-“

“The Anti-Christ, yeah, we know. Can exorcise demons with his mind. Can sniff em out and command them like dogs too. Saw him snuff out forty demons once. You know what else? He loves Iron Man and Batman. He has nightmares. Begged Cas to fix him. He is really good with history, but his algebra is a little spotty. Likes his popcorn plain and will eat anything that Dean makes.” Lila slowly laid down her fork and watched him, her eyes wide. “You angels see him just like you saw me and Dean. He’s an instrument, he’s already decided and he doesn’t have any other choice. Well, goddamn it, Gabe we are going to give that choice to him. We are going to shove it down his throat and if you don’t like it, why don’t you go hang out with Michael and Luci for a little while?” Sam suggest with a snarl.

Gabe held up his hands in a sign of surrender. “Did not mean to step on toes. But just remember what I said.”

Sam frowned at Gabe’s retreating back and then turned back to Lila, who was still staring at him.

“I’m sorry about him-“ And before Sam could finish his words, Lila all but hauled him over the small table and crushed her mouth against his, demanding his full attention. Her mouth was softer and sweeter than he had imagined, reminding him of spring time and the endless expanse of green grass and sweet smelling flowers he and Dean had passed by once in Montana. When she let him pull away, she leaned her forehead against his and said softly, “You get it.”

“I get it.” Sam agreed.

They left shortly thereafter and Gabriel stopped them to shake Sam’s hand and clear out the alcohol left in his system and give Lila a hug. He pulled away and looked her in the eye and said, “No hard feelings?”

“None.” She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek and much to Sam’s delight, he blushed.

The drive home was quiet and after a few moments, Lila scooted over and tucked herself against Sam. Sam wrapped his arm around her and they rode home the rest of the way like that.

They walked into the bunker, fully expecting everyone to be awake, but it was just Cas walking back into his and Dean’s room wearing only a towel and carrying a pitcher of water. He looked up at them as they travelled down the stairs and into the library.

“Keeping hydrated is key.” Cas said with a smirk and disappeared into the bedroom.

“Did he just-“ Lila said, pointing in the direction that Cas had disappeared to.

“Yes. Let’s never speak of it again.” Sam said, thanking once again their foresight to soundproof Dean’s room. They walked down the hall to Lila’s room and stopped in front of the closed door.

“So, this is me.” Lila said, unnecessarily.

Sam leaned down and kissed her lingeringly. She chased after his mouth for a moment before pulling him down by his lapels and taking the kiss she wanted, deeper and more meaningful. She felt him chuckle before giving in.

Lila stepped back, her lips red and kiss swollen. “Thanks, Sam.” She opened her door and stepped in and closed it behind her. Sam grinned at the closed door and made his way down the hall to his own room. He was grinning like an idiot but couldn’t find it in him to care.

 

The next morning Ryan announced that there was a vampire two hours north of their current position.

“Not a problem. Cas and I can go and be back for lunch.” Dean said.

“Actually, there is a farmer’s market up that way that I’ve been wanting to check out. Mind if I take the car and go?” Sam asked.

“Sure. Want me to go with?” Dean asked.

“It’s one vampire, Dean. I think I can handle it.” Sam said, rolling his eyes in the most pain in the ass way he had in his arsenal.

“All right.” Dean scoffed. “But don’t come crying to me when you are bit.”

“Can I go?” Lila asked.

“Sure.” Sam said immediately. Dean scoffed.

“Ryan?” Sam said.

“Can’t. I have the algebra test I have to study for and Dean offered to do drills with me.” Ryan said immediately and it sounded slightly made up, especially the way Dean raised his eyebrows at Ryan.

“Uh, yeah. Forgot about that.” Dean said, clueless as to what he was talking about.

So after breakfast, Lila and Sam got back into the Impala and started the drive north. Lila took control of the radio and despite Dean’s rule in his car, Sam didn’t protest while she played DJ. It was a short drive and they arrived outside a crumbling barn. They exited the Impala and both grabbed guns and machetes and dead man’s blood from the trunk.

“Tomatoes. We definitely need tomatoes.” Sam muttered as they approached the barn. Then he turned to Lila and raised a finger to his lips. She nodded. From here on out, until they found the vampire, it was radio silence.

The barn was had rafters falling from the roof but the roof itself was canvassed in black tarp, so it was equally dark. It smelled of dead and rotting things and Lila could feel her muscles tightening underneath her thin tshirt.

But that wasn’t what made both her and Sam stop. Ryan must have been mistaken when he had said there was only one vampire. Because at first glance, Sam was able to count seven. He put his hand out, to stop Lila from entering anymore. He slowly backed up, pushing Lila back gently as well. She turned and stifled a scream as she came face to face with one of them.

“Breakfast in bed.” It snarled, it’s silver teeth descending and Lila swung with her machete, but it was too fast for her. It knocked the machete from her hand and pushed her back into Sam, hard enough to knock them both to the ground. Lila got to her feet first, although empty handed. Sam followed, but much more slowly. She had heard his head his something, a sickening thick _thump_ that made her stomach curl. When Lila glanced up at him, she noted the blood coating the side of his head and the heavy lidded look he had. He must have hit his head pretty hard.

All the vampires were awake now and surrounding them. Lila took Sam’s machete from him and pushed him back against a failing wall. If he was aware of his environment, maybe all that upper body strength could have pushed the wall down but the only thing falling was Sam. He slumped to the ground and Lila couldn’t help but notice the blood at his collar was thicker than it had been moments ago. Head wounds _sucked_.

“Dear Castiel, I hope you can hear me, because I need your help _right now_.” Lila prayed fervently. The vampires in front of her laughed.

“Is that your angel friend?” One of them hissed. “We learned a couple tricks, just so you know. He won’t be finding you here.” It pointed to the canvas above them that draped the walls. Lila could barely make it out but then saw the barely there sigils. “Angel banishing sigils double as protection. We didn’t know that until a friendly neighborhood demon dropped by to let us know. He can hear you, but he can’t find you.”

“You fucking bitch.” Lila ground out. And that was the last thing that Sam saw from his point on the floor, blood coating the side of his head, and vision blurry.

Lila felt more than saw Sam slump to the ground. “Fuck.” She whispered. It was then that she realized how much she had begun to rely on Ryan’s strengths and also the Winchesters backing. Now, alone and with someone completely indefensible to defend, with a machete in her hand and seven vampires in front of her, she was concerned. There wasn’t more to it than that, just her vague sort of concern. It may have been arrogance but she knew she wasn’t going to die here. Not this way. And Sam was definitely not going out on her watch.

Two advanced on her at once and she splashed one with holy water and slashed at the other one with the machete. It fell back but one of its friends stepped forward, only to get a syringe of dead man’s blood to his chest. It died, loudly and painfully. Lila only had three more vials and unless she was able to call a time out, the four that Sam carried were out of reach. One more stepped forward and pinned her to a wall and she felt something tug the machete from her fingers. The ugly vamp in front of her slashed at her chest, drawing a thick well of blood she felt leak into her bra. Lila screamed as pain flared out and then screamed again when he swiped at her ribs, drawing even more blood. With muscles she didn’t know she had, she jerked back, pushed her back against the wall and kicked at the one in front of her. At the same time, she swung wildly with the machete and found a thick purchase in front of her, where she jerked the machete up, effectively halving the vampire in front of her. She heard screams from all around her and almost joined in. She was soaked in its blood and it felt like there were maggots crawling all over her skin. She swung around; expecting an oncoming attack, but all there was left of the other five was dust. Lila had dusted the leader, successfully killing the rest of the nest.

Sam was still of concern though. He was pale and unconscious and his head was still bleeding. Lila knelt beside him and shook him. “Sam, come on.” She whispered. His head lolled and his eyelids flickered but nothing else. “Sam!” She said louder. She grasped both his shoulders and leaned into his face. “Dean will kill both of us if you die out here!” Lila practically screamed. “Get up!” At Dean’s name, Sam opened his eyes, however fleetingly.

“Yeah, remember Dean? He will beat down Heaven’s door to get to you just to _kick your ass_.”

Sam groaned. “Not going to Heaven. Call Cas.”

“I can’t. Sigils. I need you to move your ass, Sam.” She said, pulling at his arm and registering, in a nauseating fashion, that she tore her own wounds even wider.

“Cas will come get us.” Sam muttered, closing his eyes again.

Lila hauled off and slapped him across his face and screamed, “No he won’t! He can’t hear us! Get up, you aren’t dying here! I’m supposed to keep you-“

And Sam opened his eyes. She stopped herself midsentence, and his hazel eyes met hers and he was finally _there_.

“Ok, ok.” He said. “Help me up.”

It was like carrying a drunk grizzly bear to the car and when she finally shoved him into the Impala, his eyes were falling shut again. While Lila knew her own wounds still bled heavily, Sam’s seemed to have slowed to a trickle. She started up the engine and gunned it. She managed to make the two hour drive in under forty five minutes and Sam was finally coming around again. She pulled him out of the car and to the bunker and they stumbled into the front door.

Dean and Cas were sitting at the big table in the middle of the library so they got the first look at a blood soaked Lila and mostly unconscious Sam as they stumbled in. Lila’s hair hung in ropes around her face and the black blood that was _everywhere_ flaked off from her face. Her white shirt was red from her own blood and her jeans black from where the vampires had bled on her. Ryan was passing by to the living room and he got the second look at them, his mother stumbling under Sam’s weight and almost unrecognizable underneath the black and dried blood. He dropped his glass of juice and started towards them, temper flaring underneath the knowledge that his mom was hurt.

Sam was almost unconscious and Cas and Dean were already rushing the stairs. Cas took Sam from his mom and just in time too, because beneath all that blood, Lila went pale and fell; Dean barely caught her. She looked tiny in his arms as he rushed her into the back where there was an infirmary of sorts. He ran after them and watched as Dean laid her on a steel table. Her head rolled sickeningly and he realized, in a dim sort of way, that this was the first time he had ever seen her hurt. Ryan had been there every other time to take care of her in the face of anything that could really hurt her. And Sam. The big, gentle man that had never been unkind to him despite _what he was_ was lying there, toeing a very fine line between life and death.

Ryan could feel it, that familiar power gathering behind him like wings that were ready to fly him wherever he needed to go and take care of whatever job he needed to do. His mother had been there to steady him, though. To calm him and reason with him.

Dean turned to face him and Ryan saw the thin line of his mouth and the set of his jaw.

“Let us take care of this, ok? Just- hang out. Just for a minute.” Dean said. Ryan nodded, once. He stepped back and Dean carefully closed the door between them. Ryan could still feel the darkness gathering behind him and nodded once more to himself. He turned his back and made his way to the front and then he heard the door open behind him. Ryan looked behind him and Dean raised a finger. “You wait for me before you go after those bastards. You hear?”

“Yes, sir.” Ryan said.

Dean closed the door behind him and turned to Lila. He took a pair of scissors from a nearby drawer and clinically began to cut away her clothes. He pulled down a hose from above him and while Cas did whatever it was that Cas did to bring Sammy back from the brink of death, he began to wash the sticky black blood from Lila. She moaned underneath the still cold water and Dean took that as a good sign. He winced when he saw the gashes across her ribs and chest and then she sat up, knocking the hose from his hands.

“Stop! I got it, I got it!” She all but screamed, sending Dean back a step. He raised his hands away from her but followed her closely as she stumbled over to the small shower stall. Cas came round a corner, and at Dean’s expression he nodded. “Let him sleep. But he’ll be fine. Lila?” Dean nodded at the shower. “Is she injured?”

“Yeah. Across the ribs and chest.”

They waited a few more minutes before Lila came out, clean of all the blood. Her wounds were stark against her white skin and the towel around her small body began to gather the blood that was leaking sluggishly from her still.

“Lila-“ Dean started. But Cas put a hand on his arm.

“Sam will be fine. He’s resting, but he’ll wake up good as new. May I?” He asked, nodding at her chest. Lila nodded and Cas reached out and traced the gash with his thumb, leaving unmarked skin in its wake. He met her eyes and said, “You saved him. You stood over him with a machete, four vials of dead man’s blood and _fought_ for him.” Dean felt the realization hit him like a sledgehammer to the face, knowing this small woman had fought off vampires for his brother. “You killed the alpha of the nest.” Cas breathed, looking at her with hope and admiration written all over his face, blue eyes wide with an earnest understanding. Dean often forgot that Sam was Castiel’s best friend but now it was written all over him. “You couldn’t call me because of the sigils, so you fought off seven vampires alone-“

“I had to.” She whimpered. The shock of it was hitting her hard now and she began to tremble. Dean knew that it was only adrenaline that had carried her this far. “I had to. I was alone and I had to. I couldn’t let him die in some dirty barn and I had to- I had to save him and it was just him and me-“ And the tears were falling down her face and Cas didn’t stop Dean from stepping forward and gathering her into his arms as she gasped and sobbed and clutched at Dean. He pulled away a little to look down at her and said, “Let Cas finish, ok? Then we’ll put you both to bed.” She nodded and turned to Cas who reached under her towel and placed a hand on her ribs. Dean could tell he went a little above the call as color began to appear in her skin again and her breathing evened out. He leaned forward, kissed her forehead and said, “Go to sleep now, little one.” Cas caught her in his arms as she once more fell, but without the worry this time. Dean stared at her, eyes wide.

“Sam needs to marry her.”

“I agree.”  

Cas carried her out and into her bedroom, tucking her beneath the thick blankets around her and stepping away. He waved a hand at her closet and said, “She is dressed now. You and Ryan may go.” Cas frowned at Dean, as though he had already done something wrong. “Something is interfering with Ryan’s ability to discern exactly how many demons are in a certain place. And a demon informed the vampires of the angel banishing sigils and how to hide from us. So, be wary.”

Dean cupped Cas’ face in his hands and said, “We’ll be back.” He kissed Cas, hungry and wanting and Cas returned the gesture.

“I’ll wait here for you. Come back to me.” Cas said.

“Each and every time.” Dean said.

Dean left the room to find Ryan pacing in the library. He held up a hand. “They will both be fine. They just need some rest. You and me, we have work to do.”

“It should have just been one, Dean.” Ryan said, begging for his understanding. His brown eyes were wide and bright.

“Yeah, Cas told me. Something is interfering with your ability to be able to see how many there are. So for now, we are going to take the Impala-“

“Soaked in vamp blood?” Ryan asked.

“We are going to take the Challenger,” Dean corrected himself, “And we are going to find this demon that is fucking up your ability to count and informed these vamps of how to hide from Cas. Those are _our_ trade secrets. And we protect them like family. We clear, Ryan?”

“Yes, sir.” Ryan said solemnly. They went downstairs and Dean grabbed some vials of dead man’s blood on the way.

“We won’t need that.” Ryan said.

“Call me old fashioned.” Dean said.   

Dean and Ryan followed the trail back up to the barn but there was nothing left but tire tracks from the Impala.

“How many demons know about you?” Dean asked.

Ryan shrugged. “I think it would be safe to say that all of them do. I’m supposed to be their general. Sam is supposed to be their king. Our meeting was kind of foretold and now they are just gathering and waiting.” He said it as casually as though he were speaking of Sunday’s weather.

“For what?” Dean asked gruffly, shifting through the few things that were left of the vampires.

“For Sam to call Lucifer up. For me to go darkside.” Ryan sighed and pushed aside a small pile of filthy blankets. “But it’s not going to happen. I get what mom’s trying to do and Sam is good. We both are.” Ryan search Dean’s face for a moment. “Don’t you think?”

Dean searched Ryan’s face and knew he was looking for approval more than confirmation. “I know so. You and Sam are so good you are starting to make Cas look bad.” Dean cast a glance around once more. “I don’t think we are finding anything here. Let’s go back home and do some research. If you say they are gathering and waiting for you and Sammy to go to the darkside, then there has to be some kind of activity, somewhere.”

They set fire to the barn, burning the sigils to the ground and left. Dean felt like nothing had been accomplished and for that he was sorry. He wanted to get his hands on the demon that had almost killed his brother and Lila as well.

~~~

When Lila woke up, she was in her bed, clean and safe. She threw back her blankets and made her way down the hall and to the kitchen. She got a glass of water and drained it, twice. Then she made her way back down the hall and passed her own room entirely without so much as a glance back. Cas poked his head out of the library and watched as she made her way into Sam’s room and closed the door softly.

Sam was lying on his back, right arm outstretched and the other tucked behind his head. He was clean and there was no sign he had practically cracked his head open like an egg. His lips were parted slightly and he was sleeping peacefully. Lila paused and almost turned back to leave before Sam spoke.

“Dean used to tell me how creepy it was when Cas watched him sleep. He’s right.” And without opening his eyes, he grinned and Lila almost ran to the bed. She climbed on it and wiggled beneath the covers and draped herself over Sam. She kissed him deeply, holding on to the back of his neck and felt his arms wrap around her.

“Let’s almost kill me again soon, yeah?” Sam asked breathlessly. Then Lila punched him in the chest. “Ow! What was that for?”

“That was a rookie mistake, Winchester! You almost died, I almost died and then Dean and Cas would have had to raise Ryan. What would that have meant for the world?” And she hit him again. “And what if I had survived and you didn’t? What would I have done then?” And she hit him once more. Then she kissed him on his cheeks and his eyelids and his forehead and anywhere else she could reach. “You stupid, stupid man. You made me care for you way too much and now I have to fight vampires and death and deal with angels and demons and my baby is the Anti-Christ and you are Satan’s vessel and this is way more complicated than any normal relationship-“

“I’m sorry I scared you.” Sam whispered, running his hands through her hair and down her neck and tracing her jaw and lips. “I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Lila let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in. “That’s all I ask.” Sam pulled her closer and sighed. Her sleepy warmth was exactly what he was missing. She reached a hand down and pulled the cover up and over their heads and said softly, “Confession time.”

This was one of the things Sam couldn’t help but love about Lila; her spontaneous nature but her ability to keep the little inside jokes going. He ran a finger down her nose and in the dim light that seeped through the cover Sam couldn’t help but fall just a little bit in love with her.

“Ok, but you go first.” He said.

She nodded and looked at his throat where her fingers traced a soft pattern. “Ryan’s not my son.”

And Sam pulled away just as he pushed Lila away so that he could look her in the eye. Her hand stayed where it was and tried to close the distance between them. There was nothing but silence between the two of them and Lila’s soft huff. She started to pull back and Sam could see her eyes shuttering. Then he roughly grabbed her hand and kissed her palm and said, “Tell me.”

“I was an orphan. Since the day I was born. No idea who my parents were.” Her sentences were rough and clipped. She was glossing over some hard details but that wasn’t for right now. “I did foster care until I was fourteen. Then I got caught shop lifting and was sent to juvie. It was a stupid thing but I already had so many strikes against me that I was in there for two years. I learned a lot of stuff in there. I learned how to dance there. And pick a lock and fight and weapons making… It’s amazing what you can learn from a bunch of criminals when you are all locked up and bored. Anyway, at sixteen I was let out and was back on the front lines for adoption. But that was a _joke_. No one ever adopts a sixteen year old girl with a record. So I figured it was just wait and see until I turned eighteen and got booted out.” She cleared her throat and continued, “Except one day, this lady came by. I knew the type. They were just looking for a check. And hey, I couldn’t blame her. She had four other kids but I was the oldest. She laid it out plain and simple. I kept the house clean, went to school, kept my nose clean and helped with the others and she would stay out of my hair. Sounded like a pretty fair deal and she kept her end of the bargain. We stayed that way for six months. Then she brought home this baby. Oh, and you should have seen him Sam. Big brown eyes, this tiny little mouth and bald as they come. Another means for a check and maybe a little more work for me, but hey, I didn’t really mind.”

“Ryan?” Sam asked. His fingers were restless over her, tracing her cheek and jaw, gripping her hand for a moment before tracing the veins on her wrist.

“Yeah. And he was a good baby. I made this little sling for him so that he could sleep while I was handling the other kids or cleaning or whatever. He slept through the night and sometimes would even let me sleep in, if he was sleeping with me. He was just the best baby ever.” She cleared her throat and wiped her face. She may not have carried Ryan in her body, but he was her son nonetheless. “So, anyway, my eighteenth birthday was coming up soon and the lady had laid out another deal. If I stayed and continued doing what I’ve been doing, she wouldn’t charge me room and board. And hey, I could stay with Ryan. So I thought about it. But that was the day that Ryan exorcised the mailman and the lady just lost it. She was on the phone, calling everyone and screaming at me to pack ‘it’s’ things. It was a Saturday so CPS wasn’t answering calls right away. So I took him, I stole her car and left. I think I drove across three states, changed vehicles seven times and stole a laptop before I felt even kind of safe.”

Lila looked up at Sam and back down and pushed her way into his arms. “When I found out everything, I made that plan. That plan that he would know so much love he would drown in it. That he would know everything good and right and I’ve tried to be a good mom for him Sam, I really have. And sometimes I think he knows but I’ve never told him.”

Sam pulled her tighter into his chest, this brave, lonely woman. They were silent for a while and Sam said, “The last thing I remember hearing before I lost consciousness was you yelling at me. You were saying that you were supposed to keep me.” Sam took a deep breath and looked at her. “And I want to keep you too. I want to keep you for a long time.”

She pulled away from his chest and looked at him. “Are you talking like… endgame?”

Sam chuckled and pulled her close. “Yeah, you’re my endgame.”

“You’re my endgame too, Sam.” Lila whispered.

“I’m going to get you a ring.” Sam swore.

“Good.” She whispered. Then she snuggled in closer and said, “I wasn’t done with my nap.” Sam stayed awake for a bit longer, with just the feel of Lila in his arms. He must have drifted off at some point because he heard a rough whisper, “They’re in here.”

The lights dimmed and he felt someone squirm between him and Lila and he scooted over to make room for Ryan. His light dozing must have been several hours or more because Ryan smelled like coconuts and was already in pajamas and Dean was there too. He fell across the foot of Sam’s bed and once more, Sam was grateful for this oversized bed as he heard Dean promptly start snoring and Ryan wrap a hand into his tshirt, and Lila reach across his small body for Sam’s hip. They cradled Ryan between them, Dean at their feet and Cas switched on a small lamp and opened up _Hitchhiker’s Guide_ once more. The four (mostly) humans slept and their angel watched over them, occasionally giggling at his book.

Sam couldn’t complain. He was healthy, everyone was alive and the bad guys were dead. It was a good night.

~~~

Over the following weeks, Sam and Cas began to obsessively trace all demonic activity. It was good for Sam to get back into things like this. It felt good for him to work and to wrap his mind around this mystery of the demon that was screwing with Ryan’s visions. They never went anywhere without an angel or an Anti-Christ to back them up and never went anywhere that Castiel couldn’t enter. There was too much at stake.  

“He has to be powerful.” Dean said, flipping through a book.

“And old. Like _ancient._ ” Sam threw in. Ryan completed his algebra and slid it across to Sam. Sam put the text that he was holding down and pulled the homework near him. Lila slid a sandwich over to Dean and chopped fruit in front of Cas. Cas smiled at her and Dean offered a compliment through his already full mouth.

“There are numerous ancient demons that I believe could have sway over Ryan’s visions. But most of them are relegated to the deepest parts of the Pit, next to Lucifer and Michael themselves.” Cas frowned. “I’m not even sure Heaven’s armies could get them out.”

“Ok.” Lila said with a sigh. “Is there anything to counteract what is happening to Ryan?”

Dean, Sam and Cas all turned their eyes to her.

“What?” She asked.

“Nothing- just-“ Dean stumbled over his words.

“We hadn’t thought of solving the problem that way.” Cas said abruptly.

“That’s why I’m here.” She said with a grin and flicked her hair off her shoulder. Sam’s eyes followed her and for a minute, he forgot that he was supposed to be checking Ryan’s work and that Dean was talking to him about a summoning spell and Cas was there and Cas never missed anything.

“Quit checking out your girlfriend and pay attention to me.” Dean demanded.

“No.” Sam said, swatting at Dean. Ryan sighed.

“I’m right here, ya know.” He said.

At that, Sam did flick his eyes down to the homework and away from where Cas and Lila were chopping fruit again. He noted a mistake on Ryan’s homework and pushed it back towards him. “Watch the signs.” He told Ryan who frowned at his work. The maddening chopping stopped for a moment behind Sam and then there was a clatter.

“Cas?” Dean asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

“The signs.” Cas said. He looked up at the ceiling and then over at Dean. “Watch the signs. Watch _your_ signs.”

“Um?” Dean started.

“No, be quiet Dean.” Cas demanded and even Lila raised an eyebrow. “We should have been watching for the signs. They’ve been here.” He stormed off to the library where even though he was in Dean’s favorite black tshirt and a pair of worn jeans and barefoot, they could see the trench coat flapping behind him. Dean followed automatically and Ryan scuttled after him. Lila watched, open mouthed and then Sam tugged her along behind him.

In the library, Cas pulled out a whiteboard they normally used for hunts and Cas had already six things written on it.

_March 3 –_

_March 13 –_

_March 23 –_

_April 3 –_

_April 13 –_

_April 23 –_

“We have six major events that have happened in the last two months.” Cas said. “They all happened on these dates.”

“March third, we met Lila and Ryan.” Dean provided.

_March 3 – Met Lila and Ryan._

“March thirteenth was our first date.” Sam said.

Cas paused before shaking his head. “No, it has to be more significant than that. Did something happen?”

Lila and Sam stared at each over Ryan’s head. “That _dress_ was pretty significant.” Sam pointed out. Dean cuffed him over the head. Sam glared at him. “Gabe got us a table at that really nice restaurant up north.”

“Gabe and Sam had words.” Lila offered.

Cas’ eyes widened at that. “What did he say?”

“He wanted to know where Ryan was and said something about…” Sam paused and met Lila’s eyes once again.

“About his greatest strength. That I am his greatest strength.” Lila provided.

 _March 13 – Prophecy_ appeared on the board before anyone could try to make any sense out of what Gabe said and Cas disappeared and reappeared at Dean’s shoulder before anyone could form the words that they were all thinking.

“What prophecy?” Dean and Ryan asked at the same time.

“The greatest strength of our greatest enemy will be slain before our victory can be attained.” Cas read from the dusty book in his hands.

“Well.” Lila said. And then she frowned. “Well.” She said again and laughed. Everyone looked at her like she had lost her mind and she only managed to laugh harder. “I’m sorry. But I’m not dying.” They all continued to stare at her. “I’m not!” She cried out and Dean could see the edge of her laughter was her white knuckling it against all odds. “I’m not dying. Everything is actually _good_ here for once. I’m not giving up on this.”  She shook her head. “Find another way, Castiel.”

“We’ll find another way. No one is winning if Lila is dying.” Dean said, looking particularly hard at Cas. Cas nodded and went back to his bored.

_March 23 – First blood spilled_

“That was when mom killed those vampires because Sam was laying down on the job.” Ryan said. Sam sighed and Dean grinned.

“April 3rd?” Cas asked, looking back at Sam and Lila.

Sam and Lila exchanged a look and Cas stared at them and when the moment held out a bit too long, Ryan finally got it and said, “Oh come on, guys!”   

Lila opened her mouth to defend herself and then shrugged.

“April 13th?” Cas finally asked. It was three days away.

“My birthday.” Ryan said.

Dean, Cas and Sam all turned to stare at Ryan. It was his turn to shrug. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I don’t- I don’t really like them.” He stared down at his feet and then glanced up at his mother. She ran a hand through his hair and smiled. “It never felt like home and cake in a hotel room is just kind of sad. So, yeah. I asked mom not to say anything.”

“Hm.” Was all Dean said.

“And then we have April 23rd.” Cas said softly but didn’t raise his eyes to anyone present. He stared at the board. “It’s all threes.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Dean said, eyes also on the board. His mouth was a straight line and he turned on his heel and left the room.

“I should finish my math.” Ryan muttered.

There was a flutter of wings and Cas was gone too. Sam and Lila looked over at each other and when Sam reached for her, she took two stumbling steps backwards, out of his reach.

“I’m not going to die.” She swore. He saw in her that warrior part that made Dean the best hunter in the world. “I’m _not_ , Sam. They never predicted that the angels would help Lucifer’s vessel and his general, right? So what am I worried about? You guys have already changed everything. I’ve got the choice now. And I’m not going out like this. I’ve got that little boy in there.”

“I know.” Sam said, at a loss for words.

“No, Sam. You aren’t hearing me. He needs me. We have a plan. We were going to go pick strawberries in California this summer. He wants to buy a house in some small town and go to school in that small town and fall in love with a brown haired girl. I’ve got to be there to teach him how to tie a tie and open doors for his brown haired girl and _Christ_ , I have to teach him to take care of the Challenger. You don’t _know_ , Sam. And he’s all I know.”

She spun on her heel and left. For a lack of better things to do, she pulled on a pair of old sweat pants and a tshirt. She knotted her hair up into a bun and retraced her steps, heading downstairs to the gym. She couldn’t face Sam right now. That face he made when he was trying not to sympathize or hurt for you was the worst. Being with Ryan right now was completely unthinkable. She made it to the gym, threw open the big heavy door and flipped on the lights.

The place was massive. A boxing ring, multiple bags everywhere, room to skip rope, meditate, showers in the back, sinks in the front and it was cool. Quiet. Lila quickly wrapped her hands and pulled gloves on. It was a bit awkward. Last time Sam had done this for her but she got it done to some degree of satisfaction. She threw herself into the bag, knocking it to the side and swinging it. She dug in deep, pulling hooks and jabs and kicks from god knows where. Lila felt the beginning of a stitch in her side and she could feel the throb of her knuckles beginning but it only made her swing harder, faster.

She wasn’t surprised when she heard the beginning strains of _Back In Black_ behind her, nor was she that surprised when Dean walked up behind the bag, caught it and showed her the boxing mitts over his hands and shin pads. He held up his hand and demanded, “Jab, jab, hook!” She followed his directions.

Hook, hook, jab.

Jab, kick, hook.

Jab, jab, jab.

And so it went. By the time Dean called it, his shirt was sticking to him and Lila felt like her limbs were going to fall off. But that pressure that had started in her chest that made it hard for her to breathe was gone and she felt a little more stable. Dean unwrapped her hands and winced when he saw the blood already weeping through the wrap.

“You might want to see Cas about that.” He said, the only words he had said to her since they started training tonight.

“I will. I think I need to see Sam first, though.” She said.

Dean started to protest but saw the resolve in her eyes. Sticky with sweat, arms aching and chest absolutely on fire and her first thought was to talk to Sam about what was going on.

“He knows how to handle this sort of thing. He’s a big boy.” Dean said.

“It’s actually not him I’m worried about.” Lila said. “It’s me. And Ryan. He’s still a child.”

Dean nodded and began to pull the wrapping off swiftly. She winced and walked over to the sinks. The cold water helped numb it a bit and she watched the blood run down the drain in a muted fascination. “If I die, Dean-“

“You won’t.”

“If I do, you have to be able to be ok. You know?” She shook her head. “Ryan won’t be and god knows what that will mean for the world. Sam won’t. I don’t know how much experience Cas has with death but he seems more delicate than any of you let on.” She cleared her throat and ignored the tears that were threatening to fall. “So that leaves you. You have to be ok with it, Dean.”

Dean spun her around so he could look at her face to face. “You aren’t going to die and that’s the end of it. I don’t care what some stupid prophecy says. We stopped the apocalypse. We can stop you from dying.”

“You have to be ok with it, Dean.” She whispered, repeating the words that had been running through her head.

“You are going to go up there and make Sam feel better. Then Cas and I are going to make dinner, we are going to eat, watch some stupid movie until Ryan falls asleep and we are going to plan his birthday for his twelfth birthday. Because that’s what we do. And you are _not. Going. To. Die.”_

Lila looked at him and saw that he was barely holding it together. Clenched jaw, red eyes, tight shoulders and thin lipped mouth. So Lila stepped forward and placed a hand over his chest and said, “Ok, Dean.” She turned to leave, blood dotting in her wake.

“Don’t you do that, Lila!” He yelled at her, loud and angry, making her jump and his own pulse erratic. “Don’t you give up on us!”

She turned and it was the first, and last, time that Dean would see that fire go out in her eyes. “I’m not, Dean. But I need to know that you will be ok with it.”

“I’m not! I can’t be ok with it when my brother is up there, in love with you! Not when Ryan depends on you for everything!” Dean shouted.

She turned and stared at him. It was a different kind of silence. Acquiescent and stoic. “You can be, though. Can’t you, Dean? You can be ok with it.”

And she left, the only thing marking her absence was the occasional bit of blood on the otherwise white floor.

Lila found Sam in his room, thumbing through her edition of _Hitchhiker’s Guide_. Cas thoroughly enjoyed and left it on Sam’s desk, knowing Lila was more likely to find it there than in her own room.

“Hey. I was gonna come looking for you- your hands!” Sam said.

Lila frowned and lifted them, the blood already drying along her fingertips and she sighed. “Ugh. I got a little carried away downstairs. I should have found Cas before I found you.”

For the second time, Lila found her hands underneath a sink. Sam gently scrubbed away the blood and said, “Cas can fix this later. It’s stopped bleeding anyway. You’ve been down there awhile.” He noted. She smiled and raked her fingers through his hair. She loved his hair and his dimples and the way he huffed in his sleep when he was _really_ asleep. She loved the way he patiently helped Ryan with his homework and practically glowed when Ryan understood what he was saying. She loved the way his hand molded to her hip and how he pulled Ryan into rough “guy” hugs whenever he passed close to Sam. Lila loved watching him leave bed, that divot of muscle above his hip pronounced and begging to be licked. She loved watching him struggle to put on a pair of boxers when he was very clearly not awake.

It was this and a thousand other things that made her look into his eyes and say very softly, “Marry me, Sam.”

If there was ever anything that could have caught Sam by surprise, this was it. They had talked about it, of course. Sam had even gone ring shopping with Dean the weekend before. But Sam had been stalling, looking for the right time. Of course Lila would do this, she wanted him in every way possible and Sam looking for the right way to ask her only made her want him more. He wanted perfection for her, and all she wanted was him.

“I, uh, what?” Sam asked.

“Marry me. Right now. Well, tomorrow. We can go get the license tomorrow.” Lila said in a rush.

Sam turned from her and left the room and Lila felt the strength leave her legs. All the kicks and working out and emotional depth of what happened to her today made her wobbly and she only barely was able to pull out a chair to sit down. Disappointment racked her. _Hadn’t they talked about this? Hadn’t this already been planned and decided on? He felt the same way she did, he had so a dozen times in the last two days._ Maybe it had just been a ruse for them to stay, something to keep her and Ryan under their watchful eyes-

Sam strode back in and if Lila lived to be a hundred years old, she would never be able to forget him brushing the tears off his face. He knelt in front of her and held out a thin silver filigree band to her. “I was waiting for the right moment.” He said.

“Now.” Lila said, taking the band from him and sniffing loudly. “Now is good.”

“There will be cake, I assume.” Cas said from the door. Dean was grinning broadly and Ryan was right behind them. “I appreciate a good cake.”

Lila laughed and Sam picked her up and hugged her, burying his face in her neck and her laugh became like a sob and she wrapped herself around Sam. The door closed discretely behind Castiel who raised an eyebrow.

“Chinese food, anyone?” Dean suggested. He ran his hands through Castiel’s hair and said, “Like maybe in China?”

“That is a good plan, Dean.” Castiel said and snapped his fingers.

Their dinner was good but Lila and Sam’s night was better.

~~~

While Ryan slept the next morning, Castiel gathered everyone around the table. “Birthdays are important. Momentous.” He told Lila. He had his serious face on so no one thought to make fun of his grave nature. “We must celebrate. I know that it is going against his wishes, but I believe Ryan deserves as normal a birthday party as we can possibly give him.”

Dean raised his coffee cup in a sign of solidarity and Sam clinked his mug against Dean’s. Lila looked down at her hands before sighing and spreading them wide. “Ok, say we do this. Who do we invite? That’s the thing. A kid’s party without kids? Isn’t that exactly what he’s trying to avoid?”

“Lady, you haven’t met the Winchesters until you have met their extended and various friends/family. We are 90% children anyway. We can make it a party that will be the envy of all parties. Castiel’s brother here used to be the god of mischief. He can make… things happen.” Dean supplied. He took a long drink from his coffee mug and watched as Lila spun the ring around her finger.

“If you think he’ll enjoy it-“ She said haltingly.

“I know he will.” Sam said encouragingly. “And if you think something big would be too much, we can just do something here. Invite Kevin and Charlie and Gabe. Garth too. It’ll be great. He’ll have fun.”

Lila hesitated a moment more before nodding.

“Great!” A voice came from the kitchen. “Where do I start?”

“Gabe. Goddamnit, warn us next time you plan on dropping by.” Dean said, half way standing up.

“If I did that, I wouldn’t get to give you an almost heart attack, big boy.” He said, grinning. He took a seat next to Lila and pulled her hand to him. He inspected the ring on her finger for a long, silent moment. “I would like to officiate at the wedding.” He announced finally.

Sam snorted and opened his mouth to retort something before stopping. “Could you?” He asked.

“Sure. Cassie or me. We are angels of the Lord and all that. ‘Let not man therefore put asunder, that which God hath coupled together,’ and all that jazz. And now, since Dad is gone, Michael is in the cage and Raphael is gone, I’m pretty the much the man with power.”

Lila shifted in her seat before saying, “The most powerful creature in all of creation offering to marry us.” She shook her head and laughed. “Yeah, ok.”

Gabe raised his eyebrows at Dean and nodded at Lila. “Bridezilla she is not.” Then he grinned and clapped his hands. “But first, there is a birthday party that must be planned. I’ll invite the guests that were listed a moment ago and make sure that proper transportation is arranged for them. In the meantime,” Gabe snapped his fingers and a pen and paper appeared under Lila’s hands, “I need you, darling woman, to list what the birthday boy might want. Even the most fleeting thought, don’t leave anything out.”

“Like toys and stuff like that?” She asked, the pen already scratching against the paper.

“And cake. What kind of cake? Or pie. Or cupcakes. Really, any food items. And drinks. Let’s say, Saturday at three in the afternoon?” Gabe raised his hand and smiled at his brother, “I’ll see you guys then.”

There was silence and after a moment, Lila put the pen down. Sam reached for the paper and pen and began to write his own additions.

“He is quite the tornado.” Lila said. “He was the one who told Mary that she was pregnant with the son of God?” She asked.

“He was- more professional in his younger days.” Cas said. “His love of humanity has made him lose a lot of his professionalism but has instilled a great appreciation for our Father’s creation.”

“You are such a poet.” Dean said and grinned at Cas. He bumped his shoulder against Castiel’s and when Cas turned to him, Dean kissed him on the nose. Lila rolled her eyes. They were gross sometimes. After Sam’s additions to Lila’s list, he passed the paper over to Cas. Cas frowned at the paper, staring at it.

“You two took all the good things.” He muttered as he began to scrawl more items out. He paused before he wrote five more items down, gravely considering what he was writing. He pushed the paper over to Dean who grinned.

“Yes…” He said softly and began to scribble earnestly.

“I think it would be in everyone’s best interest if I went and warned the other guests about Gabriel’s impending arrival. I will return shortly.” Cas said and disappeared.

Lila began to gather up the morning dishes and placed them in the sink. Dean continued to scribble and Sam grabbed a nearby book. He flipped it open to where Ryan had last marked and began to check over his answers. Ryan stumbled in moments later, scrubbing sleep from his eyes and went to his mother immediately, leaning against her heavily. She braced herself so that he wouldn’t feel her stumble underneath his weight and realize that he might be getting too old to do these sorts of things. Instead she leaned over and kissed the top of his head and asked, “Breakfast?”

“Yeah.” He said softly, rubbing his nose into her shirt.

Sam watched the two of them wistfully and Dean caught his eye. He smirked and nodded at the two of them and Sam bowed his head. He hid the small smile that always crept up on him when he saw the Lila and Ryan together. They were easy and sweet together and Sam had somehow found a place with them. He was surprised that it had happened and even more surprised that he _liked_ it. Kids had always been Dean’s thing. They gravitated towards him and loved him. They thought he was cool. Sam was just… always kind of addition. Now though, he felt Ryan gravitate towards him. He listened to Dean with the precision of a well-trained soldier, but he preferred Sam’s company. He sought Sam out when he had a question about his homework or on those rare nights he wanted to be read to. He trained with Dean and eagerly listened to all his directions but when it came down to movie time, he curled up next to Sam. He might have liked Dean, but he _adored_ Sam. Ryan turned towards his mom now, nuzzled her upper arm once again and turned back to the table. He came over and leaned against Sam, much in the same way he did his mother.

“You awake yet?” Sam asked, leaning back into his weight easily.

“Nu-uh.” Ryan replied, leaning his head into Sam’s neck. Sam kissed the top of his head, savoring the smell of sleep and clean pajamas. It wasn’t something he had found often in his own childhood.

“After you wake up, we need to look over your algebra.”

“Do we gotta?” Ryan said pleadingly.

“Only if you want to pass.” Sam said. As an afterthought Sam asked, “What do you want for your birthday?”

“You and mom to get married in castle.” Ryan replied. He yawned widely.

“Oh, is that all?” Sam asked. He watched Dean pull the list towards him and write something discretely before picking the list and pen up and leaving the room with it.

“I don’t ask for much.” Ryan said with a smirk that was 100% Lila.

“No, not too much.” Castiel said, tilting his head to the side in a manner that was altogether too… Gabriel. He had re-appeared in that silent way of his and was watching the three of them. Sam saw that same look he used to have when he studied something that was altogether too _human_ for his angelic nature.

Sam raised a finger, “No. Stop it. You won’t be snapping your fingers and taking us off to some weird foreign place for some crazy, magical wedding for the weekend. OK?”

Castiel regarded Sam for a long time. Long enough for Dean to come in, scan the room, notice everyone frozen and watching Cas before Cas smiling and asking Sam, “But why not?”

Cas raised his hand, snapped his fingers, and they left.

~~~

Several things happened that day.

Everyone found out that Castiel could be as devious as Gabriel.

Everyone found out that Gabe cries at weddings.

Dean got hilariously drunk.

Sam wept when he said his vows.

Garth could _sing_.

Charlie danced a little too long with the bride.

Kevin did too.

Ryan and Sam danced together.

Balthazar was an amazing photographer.

Even without the help of heaven’s newest wedding planner, Lila was the most beautiful bride Gabe and Cas had ever witnessed in their very long lives.

~~~

Several things happened over the course of the weekend.

Charlie and Kevin fit right back in with the boys.

Garth was content to watch everyone.

Balthazar became fast friends with Ryan which was cause for concern for _everyone_.

Sam and Dean both broke down when Ryan presented them with his own version of a thank you present for his birthday party: A series of pictures that Gabriel went back and rescued from the fire when their mother had died.

Ryan turned twelve to much fanfare and celebration.

Castiel and Charlie presented the most amazing cake to Ryan that everyone agreed was the best they had tasted.

And Ryan, for once, surrounded by friends and family felt like he was drowning in that love his mom so often referred to.

~~~

The next couple days were a blur. Castiel was up constantly, pulling books from the archives, talking to Gabriel and Balthazar and disappearing for a few moments before popping up back on the kitchen counter, standing on the couch or in the shower with Dean to show him a new book or ingredients in his hand. He was fevered in his search to divert this prophecy and save his little family from what was at hand.

Dean was alongside him until Castiel realized that his human needed sleep. Sometimes Cas would push him bodily into the room and, if his patience ran thin, he would simply lay a hand on him and make Dean sleep.

Ryan read as much as anyone but could more often be found near his mother, leaning against her or reverting to an old habit of his he had as a toddler, stroking the nail on her pinky finger. Sam was often at her other side, reading and reading until words blurred in front of his eyes and no longer made sense. Castiel often sent them back to their own rooms. Everyone knew that it would be Cas that would find some key to figuring out what was going on and how to stop it.

So when Ryan flipped open a thin book, his eyes traveling the pages and pictures, and said softly, “It’s him. I’ve found him.” Ryan stood up and said, “Cas, Cas, Castiel- This is him. It’s gotta be- It’s gotta be him, right?”

Cas snatched the book out of his hands and flipped through it. “Legions. _Two hundred_ legions. Northwest… Yes.” And then the air stilled. There was no more noise and Lila turned to Sam who turned around himself. It was as though all the noise from everything had been sucked away and Dean, Ryan, Sam and Lila couldn’t even hear themselves.

“Paimon.” Ryan whispered and it was like the earth itself cracked in half and the howling and screaming of every tortured soul from hell shrieked up at them. Dean fell to his knees and covered his head. Lightning cracked and Sam pulled Lila down and grabbed for Ryan.

Instead of following suit, Ryan smoothed his hand away and stood. Castiel was looking skyward and Sam could see that the lightning and thunder originated from him. His wings were behind him but instead of the shadows that Sam was so used to seeing, his wings were actually out and corporeal. They were thick and white, flashing silver and gold. The feathers themselves were dark and sharp looking, a weapon unto themselves. As Sam and Lila watched, Castiel heaved in huge breaths, gulping the air in as fast as he could. Underneath the flashes of light, they could see his face was deathly pale and then he was gone. Lila watched him disappear bit by bit, first his legs, then his black tshirt faded and followed by his deathly pale face. He was screaming, Lila thought and that was the last thought she had.

~~~

Lila woke on the ground. Ryan was above her, shaking her shoulders. Sam was next to her, sprawled out gracelessly. Dean’s figure was partially in the darkened shadows, but Lila noted vaguely that he was bleeding from his nose, ears, and eyes.

“He’s gone! They took him! Mom, wake up, they took him!” Ryan screamed in her face.

“Stop, wait. Who’s gone?” She said, placing a hand on his chest and attempted to sit up. The world tilted and she felt ill.

“Cas. Castiel is gone. Mom, the king of hell, I know it’s him. His name is Paimon. Most loyal to Lucifer. He commands two hundred legions-“

“Wait!” Lila practically shouted. “Stop. Think. What do we need to do first?”

Ryan swallowed a deep breath. “We need to wake the guys up first.”

Lila nodded. “Do that. Wake Sam.”

When Lila tried to stand, she succeeded in only making herself dry heave, so instead she crawled over to Dean. The blood on his face was not yet dry so they couldn’t have been out long. She gently tapped his face and said, “Dean. Dean, come on. Wake up. We gotta go get your angel.” She spoke to him for a few more minutes before he finally woke up, his eyes settling on hers before he sat up so fast he started dry heaving as well. Sam groaned and rolled over.

“What the hell was that?” He ground out, his own eyes still shut.

“Paimon. He’s a king of hell-“ Ryan started, once more.

“I thought Crowley was king of hell?” Dean asked, wiping the blood from his face.

“Crowley was like- no one abdicated the throne. See? He just put himself up there and decided he would do things his way. These guys, Paimon especially, they were more, I don’t know, amused by what he was doing.” Ryan said in a rush. “But with Crowley gone, Paimon can do what he’s been waiting for. Force Lucifer out of the cage and into Sam. Call me up to his right hand. And then, there goes all your hard work. Lilith already did all the difficult parts, breaking the Seals. The cage you guys stuck him in… it’s like a prison. It can be broken open with enough force. Paimon commands two hundred legions. He has the sufficient force.”

Sam groaned and sat up. “So what are we going to do?”

“Go get Castiel.” Dean said, rolling over. “Can’t let him have my angel. Why do I feel like I drank an entire liquor store?”

“Paimon’s voice. He does that.” Ryan said.

“How are you not affected?” Dean asked. He stomach heaved again and he bowed his head between his knees.

“Anti-Christ here.” Ryan said, pulling a book from the shelf, flipping through it and tossing it away.

“Well then why am I affected?” Sam asked, doubling up over his own stomach.

“You rejected Lucifer. There are prices you have to pay. Ok, here we go. Basic locating spell. Um, I’m gonna need a feather, Dean’s blood and the Latin incantation.”

But before they could start, the TV snapped on and a lovely young man sat at desk with a smaller picture behind him.   

“Just minutes ago, this warehouse in the northeast corner of Lebanon caught fire. Firefighters are on their way to the blaze but are going to be unable to put it out.” The young man on the TV relaxed, eyes turning a sickening shade of purple and he grinned. His face was thin and frankly, very pretty. “Holy fire is not easily extinguished, lady and gentlemen. Arm yourselves. Come for the angel. Bring me the boy and his…” The young man paused, his eyes raking Sam from head to toe and lingering on the wedding band on his finger. “His father. Leave his mother or the angel gets his.”

“Paimon.” Lila said.

“Got it one, lovely young lady.” He mimed shooting a gun in her direction with a wink. “And might I say, our greatest ally’s greatest strength, well, she can kind of get the blood going, am I right Sam?” Those purple eyes swung to Dean who was leaning against the wall now, fighting to remain upright. “But so can that pretty angel, right Dean? Man oh man, what the legions are just _begging_ to do to him. Defiling an angel of the lord… that’s a thing rarely had by us down here.”

“You sorry piece of-“ Dean started.

“No. Let’s begin the trade. Bring the boy and his father. Leave the mother or there will be consequences of which you cannot begin to understand. Leave her and you can have the angel back.”

“Fuck you.” Sam said.

“Maybe.” Paimon replied thoughtfully and the TV clicked off.

Silence once again reigned in the bunker. Then Sam turned, walked over to their weapons room and began to strap everything that he might ever need to his body. The flannel he wore would work. His steel toes would be fine. Dean pulled a holster out of their storage closet and slipped it on. Sam did the same. Lila hauled a little used duffel bag that had been shoved to the back of Ryan’s closet and joined them. She pulled a similar holster out of the bag and helped Ryan slip it on. He shoved his feet into a pair of boots and slipped a knife into each. Sam and Dean watched, a little horrified, as he strapped a crossbow to his back, a thigh holster with a knife to his thigh and what looked to be like another holster for his forearm, along with six slim knives with incantations engraved on them.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Sam asked. Ryan looked like a small warrior, ready to kick ass. “He’s staying here with you. I’ve fought Lucifer off. I can do it again.”

“You aren’t getting Castiel back without him. That was the deal. I stay here. You three go.” Lila said her head bowed. She plucked a necklace from around her neck and followed the chain to the clasp. She undid and placed it around Ryan’s neck. It was her St. Christopher medallion, sent to guide the lost back home. She winked at him. “Besides, you boys got it, right?”

“Lila, we _can’t_ take him.” Dean said.

“You can. And you will. And you’ll bring Cas back here and we’ll fix him up and you’ll nurse him back to health.” Lila said calmly. “I don’t know if you saw what we saw, Dean. Paimon made his wings corporeal. I could have reached out and touched them. Have you read the lore on those bad boys? No? They are essentially his Grace but on this plane. What would happen if he got his hands on Castiel’s wings?”

“He will do his best to defile Castiel. At this point, doing what he says is our best option.” Ryan said reasonably.

“What do you mean, defile?” Dean asked, shrugging into his jacket.

“You know exactly what I mean, Dean.” Ryan replied tightly. Dean turned his eyes to Ryan who stared back unflinching. Lila handed him a flask of holy water. He shoved it into the back pocket of his jeans. She brushed his hair off his forehead and smiled at him. Sam and Dean watched them, appalled.

“You’re just going to let him go?” Sam asked.

“I don’t have a choice in the matter. He’ll go to Paimon and he’ll make his decision. I trust him.” She said softly.

“You’re just going to- what- stay here?” Sam sputtered. The woman he fell in love with, the fighter, didn’t lie down and surrender.

“Someone’s got to hold down the fort, right? Someone’s got to be the backup.” She said. Lila cleared her throat and pulled Ryan tight to her. She leaned her forehead to his and he closed his eyes. He could smell the cinnamon of her hair and felt the warmth of her skin. “Hey. So I taught you a few things, huh? Think you can remember them all?” She paused for a moment and Ryan tried hard to remember everything she had taught him. To hold the door open for people behind you, to reply with “Yes” and “No” not “Yeah” or “Nah”. Look a waiter or waitress in the eye when ordering. Beheading a vampire is the only sure fire way to kill it. Take your hat off inside a building. Fire kills almost everything. You can make a weapon out of almost anything. Watch out for kids smaller than you. Be kind. Be sweet. Be _good._

“No,” His mom said softly as if she could read what he was thinking. “Not that stuff. _I love you_. That’s what it all comes down to. I love you. And you make me so proud, every day.”   

Ryan’s mouth tightened into a thin white line and he nodded. “I love you, mom.” He opened his eyes to hers and even though Lila knew that this little boy wasn’t hers, that he couldn’t be of her blood, his eyes matched hers and she died a little bit for the little boy that shouldn’t have been and could never be. _Her_ little boy in all the ways but one small one that didn’t even really matter. He stepped back and wiped at his face and nodded.

“I’ll remember, mom.” He said.

She nodded and said, “Ok. Go.”

Dean left the room and Ryan followed. Sam paused at the door and he framed Lila’s face in his huge hands. He kissed her hard and long. “I’ll bring him back.”

“Come back with him.” Lila reminded him. She sat down heavily in the chair when Sam left the room. She heard the door close and buried her face in her hands. Lila waited a full ten minutes before she moved. Then she stood, wiped her face, and headed to her room. She changed out of her pajamas, into jeans and her favorite shirt and went back to the weapons supply room. She slipped a holster on and began to load up weapons. When she felt like she was ready, she pulled on her favorite boots, grabbed her keys and headed out the door.

The boys were right; she wasn’t just going to let her baby go.

~~~

When Dean drove up to the warehouse, it was indeed on fire. The only thing that wasn’t on fire was the front door. Ryan’s face was set and Dean could feel that same black, pulsing wave at Ryan’s back, barely contained.

“Would it matter at all if I told you to stay?” Dean said, turning to look at Ryan in the backseat.

Ryan shook his head. “Only if you want me to go in there alone, without you guys.”

Sam and Dean exchanged a long look. The three of them exited the car and headed for the entrance. Dean paused and looked back as Sam and Ryan entered. The fire did not close itself behind them. If they wanted to escape, they would have to do it this way. When they entered Dean’s first and immediate words were, “Two hundred legions is _a lot_.”

“Six thousand in a legion. There are two hundred legions. Yeah, it’s a lot.” Sam said, pulling his knife out. Dean already had his gun aimed at the ground and Ryan had his crossbow aimed at the floor. His eyes were on the risers around them where men, women and children of all races and ages sat silently, staring at them. In the middle of the dirty floor, center stage, was the TV announcer from earlier.

“You did as I asked.” He said, sounding pleased. “Left mommy behind and came with the son and father.” He clapped his hands. “Come; show them what they’ve won!” He gestured to two men that were partially hidden behind a riser. They spun a wheeled mechanism between the two of them and a spotlight from behind the Ryan, Sam and Dean shone near the ceiling. It caught the bottoms of dirty, bloodied feet and as the wheeled mechanism began to work more easily, Castiel slid into view. Jeans that were slung too low on his hips, rips and tears and blood everywhere. Then his chest slid into view where there were sigils carved into his chest that glowed the same sickening purple of Paimon’s eyes. Those wings that Sam had only caught a glimpse of earlier came next, nailed to the cross that Castiel was strapped to. Thick leather bindings were around his waist, wrists, and thighs. Another was barely visible across his mouth, as his head was slumped across his chest.

“Castiel.” Ryan muttered between Sam and Dean. In front of them, Cas stirred, and rolled his head to one side. Paimon grinned in front of them. “Dean, call him.”

“Cas.” Dean said. “Castiel! Wake your ass up!” He demanded and Cas, with great effort, looked up at them. His eyes widened at the sight of them, as though to tell them something. He began to struggle but the great iron nails that held his wings to the cross tugged and he wailed in pain behind his gag.

“Cas, it’s just me.” Ryan said in a reasonable tone. Cas glanced from behind Ryan to his face and back again. “You’ve seen the images. But I’m still me and I can get you out of there, ok?”

“What’s- what’s going on? What does he see?” Sam asked.

“He didn’t tell you?” Paimon practically squealed from his place near Castiel’s feet. He danced around in a small circle, too excited for his own good. “Cas here, because of his divinely nature, can see the Anti-Christ’s real form. This is pretty much what you can see but there’s a bonus right behind you. Want to see?” And he clapped his hands. The lights dimmed around everything but Ryan, making him the star of the show. Sam and Dean turned and looked between them at the little boy.

It was still Ryan, they could see that plain as day. But it seemed like there was something else there, something overlaid or picture blurred. The harder Sam concentrated on one image or the other, the clearer it became. He saw Ryan, crossbow in hand, features still retaining a little baby softness around his chin and cheeks, jeans and his mother’s necklace right where she had placed it. But when he _switched_ view points, he could see a harder young man, eyes focused, face thinner and more razor sharp. His eyes were clear and instead of the jeans and tshirt he had dressed in this morning, black armor adorned his body. Instead of a crossbow, this version of Ryan had a gilded, black sword that hung from his hand almost carelessly. This Ryan was dangerous. This Ryan was scary. This Ryan had-

“Wings?” Sam asked, looking up and behind Ryan. They were large and filled up the space behind them, almost the entire width of the building. They were not feathery, but rather reminded Sam of dragons, black and leather and thick. They snapped together angrily, talons edging them.

Ryan shrugged helplessly. “I got them the other day. When I turned twelve. I, uh, didn’t know how to tell my mom.”

“Ok.” Dean said and cleared his throat. They lights came up again on Paimon and Castiel. “All right then.”

“So let’s get this over quickly. I tire of the angel. All he does is pray to you, Dean, and scream and scream and _scream_.” Paimon said. “Give me the boy, his father, and I’ll let Dean Winchester and everybody’s favorite angel go. Deal?”

“Yes.” Sam and Ryan said.

“No.” Dean said and fired off a bullet that pierced Paimon’s head. His head snapped back and he rocked back on his heels. He screamed and they tried to prepared themselves for it, dropping to their knees, covering their ears with their hands but the sound never came. Sam instead saw familiar black boots in front of Ryan, between him and Dean and raised his eyes to see Lila with a shotgun in her arms take aim and fire. It caught Paimon in the throat but she didn’t stop. Instead, she kept advancing, the demons screaming at her every step and continued shooting him. Face, chest, neck, she never missed. When she was steps from him, she ran out of bullets and tossed the gun aside and pulled a machete that Sam could have sworn was Dean’s. She shoved it into Paimon’s stomach, lifting the thin man on his toes and then the demons from the stands descended.

Sam lost count of how many he killed. He sliced and hacked his way through body parts, shoving the knife through anything that wasn’t Dean, Ryan or Lila. Dean was equally merciless and Ryan began to work his small tricks, darting in and out, taking care of the demons by touching bare skin and laying them smoking and dead at his feet. They worked their way through black blood and body parts to where Lila stood at Castiel’s feet. She snatched a flask of holy water from Sam, washed away Paimon’s blood and began to cut away Castiel’s bindings. The demons screamed and Paimon stood suddenly.

“If it were that easy, darling.” He said to Lila. She glanced over at Paimon, looked at Ryan and Sam but continued cutting away at Castiel’s straps. Once his hands were free, he looked at her and said, “You have to pull them out,” referring to the nails in his wings.

Lila looked to Dean who was killing demon after demon and there was no way he could make his way to her, there were too many in between them. Sam and Ryan were back to back, Sam slicing heads off and Ryan snarling and swinging with a knife now. Castiel reached down and grasped Lila’s forearm and boosted her up so that she could reach one wing. It was awkward and she hoped that Dean would forgive her for it. Her knees were around Castiel’s waist, gripping him tightly, and his arms were supporting her by holding on to her ass. She began to work the nail out, pulling and tugging and could feel Castiel begin to shake with the effort not to scream. She pulled one out and he gasped. He pulled her back and clutched at her for a moment before repositioning her to the other wing. “Hurry. Please.” He was hoarse now and she could only imagine how he screamed when they nailed him up there. Using all the strength she had left in her arms, Lila pulled the last nail out and they both tumbled to the ground. Castiel’s wings, newly healed, caught them and he stood and bellowed, “Cover your eyes!”

They all registered the light sparking in Castiel’s palms, and fell to the ground, eyes closed, arms over their faces.

There was nothing but quiet in the moment that followed.

Lila looked up to see Sam, Dean and Cas looking around. It was black. The entire warehouse was gone and in its place was an inky black. Above, below and to the side of them.

And there was no Ryan.

“Did you kill-“ Lila started.

“No. He hadn’t made his choice. He would have been spared.” Castiel said immediately.

“Where are we?” Sam asked, reaching out and meeting an inky black wall.

“You, dear friends, are in the box. It’s a version of the cage that you put Michael and Lucifer in. Activated by divine power and sealed in until I say so.” Paimon said, face flickering too large on one of those walls.

“Where’s Ryan?” Lila demanded.

“Behind me. Did you know, Lila, demons were once human? They were just twisted and tortured and bludgeoned until they were no longer the humans they once were. So, let’s see how much torture one little boy can take until I hear one of you say that sweet little word.” He said.

“What word?” She said, starting forward. Dean caught her around the waist to keep her from hitting the wall.

“Yes. Either Ryan says it and he’s made his choice to join us or you say it. Which is just one more domino before Sam says yes. Or you say yes and Ryan has to live with the guilt that his mother died for him and the guilt eats him away because who else does he want to make proud but his mother?” Paimon raised his fingers to his chin and feigned thinking. “No one. There is not a single little boy out there that would not claw apart Heaven to be with his mother for just a little bit longer. And Ryan here, he has quite the bite.” Paimon stopped and his suffocating purple eyes tracked Lila. “So you say yes. Or he says yes.” The demons behind Paimon started chanting and he stepped aside so that they could see Ryan strapped to a stone table behind him. His mouth was uncovered. His hands were strapped above him, his legs splayed and his eyes turned skyward.

“Just one little word and you’ll be here instead of him.” Paimon said.

“And I’ll die.” Lila stated flatly.

Paimon turned back. “Of course. Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He winked and the wall became black once more.

Lila turned to the other three. “I have to say yes.” She said.

“No.” Dean said flatly. He reloaded his gun and shot into one of the walls. The bullet was absorbed, and there wasn’t anything to show for it. Cas ran his hands along the wall, pulled his angel blade and tried to sink it in the wall. Sam began to feel the walls for an edge that they could pry apart. “You aren’t giving up. We talked about this. This isn’t surrender-“

“No, it’s not. It’s not, Dean.” Lila said with a sigh. She looked skyward and said, “If anyone, it had to be you guys.” She paused and looked at her ring. Then she looked up at Sam and caught his eye. “I didn’t have enough time with you. No one ever gets their fill, I guess.” Dean and Cas stopped and looked at her. “If I can, I’ll check on you three. Ryan is in your hands and you have to make sure that he follows the plan. Anything less could be disastrous. So, love him each and every day. Be proud of something all the time.” Sam dropped his hands and looked at her.

“You can’t say yes.” He said.

“If I say yes, I can buy you some time to stop him.” She said.

“No! No, I’m supposed to keep you, Lila. Please, please don’t do this to me. Please, Lila, don’t leave him. Don’t leave me.” Sam cried out. Ryan’s cries echoed in the warehouse. He screamed for his mother. “We haven’t had enough time. It’s not fair!”

“Forever wouldn’t have been long enough. Be honest. Because I could have stayed in bed with you this morning forever.” She whispered. She traced his chin and his bottom lip. Then she took a step back and looked at all three of them. Dean was still trying to find a way out of the box. Cas pounded on the wall. Ryan wailed for his mother and Sam would be reminded, once more, that there was a child waiting out there for them to rescue. If it had been any other set of people Sam wouldn’t be begging Cas and Dean to find another way _any other way but giving them Lila_.

“Stop.” She whispered. “Just stop. I need you three to listen to me, ok?” She was so quiet, they shouldn’t have been able to hear her over Ryan screaming and chanting just outside. Lila walked over to Dean and placed a hand on his chest. She smiled as she felt it beat strong underneath her palm. He watched her with those wide green eyes and begged her silently. Not just for Sam but for the little boy that called him _sir_ and followed his every order without hesitation. He begged her for Cas who had come to adore Lila in his own silent way. He begged her. “Teach him how to be strong, ok? Teach him everything you know about being strong and being weak and being a good man.”

Dean placed his hand over hers and said, “Please, Lila. Don’t do this. Don’t- don’t leave us.” She smiled and slipped her hand from his. His eyes were wide and bright when he looked at her.

Cas stood very still, as though he could fix this if he thought about it hard enough. If he could figure out the sigils, what they were chanting, how to get Ryan back-

But now Lila was in front of him and he saw in her eyes all the love that only a parent could know. She cradled his face in her hands and he wept underneath her touch.

“Cas, I need you to teach him how to love. Teach him how to adore someone. Teach him that love isn’t a weakness but the greatest strength that I could ever, _ever_ leave him. Teach him how to give up everything because that’s only when you gain anything.”

“Lila, _no._ Please.” He whimpered. He grasped her hands and pulled her close, so that her forehead leaned into his chest and she could hear the prayer he was murmuring over her.  

And finally, Lila turned to Sam. She held out her hands and he grasped them. She kissed his knuckles reverently. She loved him, so much. He knew it. He knew in the way she went out of her way to place a hand on his hip when they stood side by side in the kitchen; in the way that she looked up at him and in her eyes it shone as clearly as her love for Ryan. Sam knew now what sacrifice was; he knew that he would do the same thing if the positions were reversed and he knew in some deep, dark part of himself that he would bear her loss. “Show him how to be good. Teach him that love is good and kindness is better and patience is the mark of a good man. Show him that loving someone will never be a bad thing even if it ends and it hurts later.”

Sam shook his head. “No, no. You have to do that. You have to teach him all those things. Remember the brown haired girl and the living room with children in it? They said it. You are his greatest strength. You are the one who grounds him.” He gasped and pulled her hands to his mouth. “ _You keep me_. Please?” Sam begged. Dean’s heart wrenched at the sight of his brother begging. “Please, Lila. Please. We just got married. I want to see you feed our baby. I want to watch you teach our daughter to be an amazing woman, just like you. I want you to see Ryan grow up and learn to drive the Impala and learn to shoot and watch him go to college and become that man-”

Lila almost broke down then. It wrenched something deep inside of her that this privilege would no longer be hers. She would be somewhere else and wouldn’t get to see Ryan blush when teased about his first girlfriend or accepted into college or even married one day. She wouldn’t get to gross out with Sam anymore over Dean and Cas or hear Cas patiently explain differential equations anymore. She wouldn’t watch Dean clean his guns. She wouldn’t get to stare disapprovingly at Gabriel when he handed Ryan candy. She wouldn’t get to see Charlie anymore. Or Kevin. Or Garth. This morning would be the last morning she would wake up with Sam curled all around her, one of his legs thrown over hers, his chest and shoulder covering hers. She wouldn’t feel his lips anymore or taste apples from his mouth.

“I can feel how good you are, Sam, and I love you for it.” She whispered and then closed her eyes.

“No, Lila. No!” Sam screamed and Dean started towards him. She tipped her mouth back and even before Cas could reach her to clap a hand over her mouth she said, “Yes.” And disappeared. Sam’s hand felt cold and empty and he reached for where she had been only seconds later.

“Sam?” A small voice whimpered from the corner. He whirled towards it and Ryan ran to him and threw himself in his arms.

“Get her, Sam. Please, please. Get her back for me.” Ryan begged. “ _Please.”_

That was when the screams started.

They reverberated and none of them could place exactly where they were coming from. Dean threw himself against the wall and Cas pounded on them, shaking the entire structure but no cracks appeared, nothing changed. The blackness remained untouched. Ryan burrowed himself deeper into Sam’s arms who stood, grasping his small shaking body in his hands.

“Be strong, ok? Don’t let them have what they want.” Sam said to Ryan as he felt his anger rising, a midnight blue tidal wave of anger looking for a shore to crash on. He held him tighter.

“Don’t let them have what they want, Ryan! Don’t let them do it to you!” Dean said. “They want you to crack because then they’ll have their general and your mom going out like that will be for nothing.” Dean dropped his gun and strode over to Ryan. Over Sam’s shoulder, he cupped his face in his hands. “Listen Ryan. You have to be strong, ok? You give them what they want, you give into all that anger, your mom out there will mean nothing. Shhh, baby. I know it hurts.” Dean said.

Cas joined their group and stood next to Dean and said softly to Ryan, “She loves you so much. Don’t make her love mean nothing. She wouldn’t have been able to do this without loving you more than anything else on this planet. Ok?”

And Cas began to speak in Enochian to Ryan, soothing words of love and worship and soon, but never soon enough, Lila stopped screaming.

“The sigils are gone.” Cas said, looking around at the black walls. And in seconds they were back in the bunker. Sam stumbled and let his weight collapse against a wall, Ryan still clinging to him. They slid to the ground, holding on to one another.

Dean looked at Cas. “We need to-“

Cas mouth hardened into a thin line and he paled. “I know.”

Dean stumbled after being transported so many times in such a short amount of time. They were all gone, the only thing left in the middle of the room Lila.

Dean would have rather made a trip back down to the racks in hell than to see her broken like this. Her eyes were shut but it was a very small consolation. She was bloody and broken in every way conceivable. Dean’s heart wrenched when he thought of his brother pleading for them to have a life together. Instead of seeing her shattered in front of him, he closed his eyes and chose to picture her walking down the aisle to Sam, dressed in white and looking radiant.

“I can-“ Cas chest hitched and tears spilled down his cheeks. “I can stitch her up-“ Cas choked back a sob and “I can make her clean again.”

“Cas.” Dean whimpered and Cas turned to him.

“Dean, she’s _dead_. She was just here and she was my friend and now she’s gone. Heaven is closed and I won’t see her again. _Dean.”_

They met halfway in the middle and Cas collapsed against him, hot tears against neck and sobs in his chest.

Eventually, Cas was able to face Lila’s corpse again and he cleaned her up with a brush of his hand. Then he gathered her against his chest and they flew back to the bunker.

~~~

_Twelve years later_

The dungeon was cold, but that wasn’t any different. The sigils and the traps were still there and probably would be until the end of time. The walls were thick and the locks were impenetrable. Time stopped down here. It wasn’t anything to anyone who was down here.

Strapped to the chair made of silver was a young man with purple eyes. He had not changed. His suit was the same and the smile he kept was already tugging at his lips.

The boy had changed though. He was taller, shoulders broader and a knife tucked surely away in his hand. His fingers were nimble and as he wheeled in a steel cart his face was unchanged. The man’s purple eyes traced the black wings at his back enviously. They had not been used and instead of the inky black that they once were, they were a pale gray of an angry storm cloud.

“I spent a lot of time collecting weapons that could kill a demon. I spent even more time finding weapons that could hurt a demon. My dad and uncles taught me that if you were careful, you could draw this out for as long as a year.” He said, his mouth tugging into his own cold smile.

“Aren’t you above all… this?” Paimon asked his eyes tracing the chains against the walls, above his head and the one meat hook he had seen coming in.

“No. In fact, according to you at least, this is where I belong.” Ryan said. His long fingers traced the weapons at his table.

“But you’ve been redeeming yourself. Working your way out of a job.” Paimon said.

Ryan shrugged. He picked up a thin rod that was tipped in sharp edge and turned back to the shadows. “Where should I start, dad?”

Sam caught Ryan’s eye. “Where you want, son. I’m just here for the show.”

Ryan nodded. He turned back to the former king of hell, current prisoner. “Let’s begin.”       


End file.
